The Blind Golfer

Charlie Boswell was a great athlete who became blind during World War II while rescuing his friend from a tank that was under fire. When he returned to this country after the War, he decided to take up a sport that he had never tried as yet—golf. Years of practice and determination led him to win the honor of National Blind Golf Champion no less than 13 times. One of his heroes was the great golfer Ben Hogan, so it indeed was an honor for Charlie to win the Ben Hogan Award in 1958.

Upon meeting Hogan, Charlie was awestruck and told the legendary golfer that his greatest wish was to have one round of golf with the great Ben Hogan.

Hogan was duly honored, after all, he knew Charlie as the great blind player that he was, and truly admired his skills.

But suddenly Boswell blurted out an unexpected challenge. "Would you like to play for money, Mr. Hogan?"

"Charlie, you know I can't play you for money, it wouldn't be fair!" said Mr. Hogan.

Boswell did not flinch. Instead, he upped the ante. "Come on, $1,000 per hole!"

"I can't. What would people think of me, taking advantage of a blind man," replied the golfer who was able to see.

"Chicken, Mr. Hogan?"

"Okay," blurted a frustrated Hogan, "I'll play. But I warn you, I am going to play my best!"

"I wouldn't expect anything else," said the confident Boswell.

"You're on Charlie. I'll tell you what. You name the time and the place!"

A very self-assured Boswell responded: “Fine. 10 o'clock . . . tonight!"

A Strange Juxtaposition

In the portion of Bechokosai, G-d communicates to the Jewish people the idyllic blessings awaiting them if they live up to their covenant with the Almighty. This is followed by the warning, that if the Jewish people fail to fulfill their role in our world as the Divine ambassadors, they will become the victims of horrendous curses&nbsp;and losses described in frightening detail.

Immediately following this section, known as the “Tochacha” (rebuke, chastisement), the Torah begins a totally new subject—the laws of “erchin,” which means evaluation. These laws specify how a person might donate his or her own value or the value of another human being to the Holy Temple. The Torah specifies the exact sum one must contribute if he or she makes such a pledge. The sum is not based on the individual’s strength, or character, but rather it is a generic value for each gender and each age. For example, the “erech,” or standard value, of a Jewish male between the ages of 20 and 60 is fifty silver shekel (a silver currency weighing around 9000 grams of silver). It doesn’t make a difference whether the individual whose worth was pledged was a neurosurgeon or a street sweeper, no matter if the person whose worth I pledged was Moses himself, or some outcast, the amount donated is dependent only on age and gender. If I pledged to contribute the value of a five-year-old boy, I need to contribute 20 silver shekel (a silver currency weighing around 360 grams) to the Temple. If I pledge to contribute the value of a one-year-old boy, I need to pay to the Temple five silver shekel. (There is an entire Tractate in the Talmud, Erchin, devoted to this topic.)

[Obviously, these numbers do not reflect the true value of a human being. A person is priceless. Rather, these are symbolic numbers the Torah attaches to different genders and different ages representing certain generic features of this gender or age group. The details of this are beyond the scope of this article.]

The order in Torah&nbsp;is meticulous. What is the connection between the Tochacha, the stern and harsh chastisement, and the laws of evaluation, discussing the “value” of every single human being, man, woman, and child?

The Power of Charity

I will present two answers, one is numerical and moral; the other is psychological.

The Baal Haturim (Rabbi Yaakov ben Asher, one of the great Medieval sages in Germany and Spain, 1269-1343) explains this as follows.

The Portion of erchin contains evaluations in this order: 50 shekel, 30 shekel, 20 shekel, 10 shekel, 5 shekel, 3 shekel, 15 shekel, and 10 shekel—for various age and gender groups. The total of all distinct categories comes out to be 143 shekel. This number matches the exact sum of the curses in the Torah—45 in this week’s portion, Bechokosai, and 98 in the portion of Ki Savo in the book of Deuteronomy. The Torah is, in effect, saying that the antidote for the Tochacha is the mitzvah of erchin, the mitzvah of charity. The 143 shekels of contributions cancel out the 143 chastisements.

This is the power of giving.&nbsp;

Still the Chosen People?

The second explanation, presented by the Kotzker Rebbe, Rabbi Menachem Mendel Morgenstern (Poland, 1787-1859), is this.

One of the greatest gifts of the Jewish people was that they did not allow the humiliation and persecution they endured by mighty nations to define their inner identity, dignity, and destiny. Like fearless lions, they left Auschwitz, and the next day they went to rebuild Jerusalem.

We know of many people or cultures who endured savage suffering, and as a result, they could never rehabilitate themselves emotionally. They remained eternal victims of their oppressors. And even after they were set free, it was merely external freedom, but their inner sense of identity and liberty has been obliterated.

Where did the Jewish people glean the strength to emerge from every disaster with the courage and confidence to rebuild and prosper? From the order in this week’s portion! After the Torah enumerates the suffering the Jews might experience from the nations around them, it goes right on to discuss the value of every single human being. No matter what happens to you, the Torah is intimating, you have value as an individual, and as part of a nation. And your value can contribute to the Holy Temple, to the revealing of the Divine presence in the world.

Still Chosen?

After the Nazis invaded the small village of Klausenberg, Romania, they began to celebrate the defeat of the Jews in their usual sadistic fashion. They gathered the Jews into a circle in the center of town, and then paraded their Rebbe, Rabbi Yekusial Yehuda Halberstam (1905-1994), into the center.

The Klausenberger Rebbe was later taken to Auschwitz, where his wife and 11 children perished. He survived the war and came to America, where he remarried, had more children, and built a grand Chassidic movement. He also built the beautiful Laniado hospital in Netanya, Israel.

The SS guards began taunting and teasing the Klausenberger Rebbe, pulling his beard and pushing him around. The vile soldiers trained their guns on him as the commander began to speak. "Tell us, Rabbi," sneered the officer, "do you really believe that you are the Chosen People?"

The soldiers guarding the crowd howled in laughter. But the Rebbe did not. In a serene voice, he answered loud and clear, "Most certainly."

The officer became enraged. He lifted his rifle above his head and sent it crashing on the head of the Rebbe. The Rebbe fell to the ground. There was a rage in the officer's voice. "Do you still think you are the Chosen People?" he yelled.

Once again, the Rebbe nodded his head and said, "yes, we are." The officer became infuriated. He kicked the rebbe in the chin and repeated. "You stupid Jew, you lie here on the ground, beaten and humiliated, in a puddle of blood. What makes you think that you are the Chosen People?"

With his mouth gushing blood, the Rebbe replied. "As long as we are not the ones kicking, beating, and murdering innocent people, we are the chosen people."

Rise Up

Many of us have experienced loss, abuse, and grief in our lives. There are individuals who from a very young age have been given the message that they are worthless and that their lives amount to nothing. For years they struggle to regain the inner confidence to create a blessed&nbsp;life for themselves.

Comes the Torah and teaches, that after you experienced turbulence in your life, after you endured a “Tochachah,” a harsh experience, make sure that you do not allow those experiences and messages to make you doubt your value. You may have been challenged, but let the fighter in you still remain.

True Dignity

It also works the other way around.

The true value and dignity of a person emerge in moments of pain and despair. The real quality of people, their depth and majesty emerge after a “Tochacha,” after a painful experience.

When Rabbi Yoel Teitelbaum, the Satmar Rav (1887-1979), visited Israel, a Hungarian Jew came and asked him for a blessing before his departure back to the US. This Jew expressed the fear that after the Satmar Rav returned to America, there would be no one worthy to ask for a blessing. His Rebbe told him: "Go to any Jew that has a number tattooed on his arm and ask him for a blessing. When such a person is available, you do not need me to give you a blessing."

Violence in Schools

America is reeling from the school shooting in Texas, on May 24, 2022. 18-year-old Salvador Ramos opened fire at Robb Elementary School in Uvalde, Texas, killing nineteen students and two teachers, and wounding seventeen people. What our youth in America needs more than anything else is a moral education -- an education about values and character, about the truth that the dignity of each life is absolute and non-negotiable.&nbsp;

Sure, it is absurd that an 18-year-old can just obtain a machine gun legally, without any investigation. Even if you are pro-guns, there must be limits. But beyond that, when each of our children is taught from the earliest age that we are responsible to G-d, and that He expects us to honor life, and to be kind to each other, murder will not be part of the language of a teen&nbsp;in pain.&nbsp;

The order in the Hebrew Bible is meticulous. What is the connection between the tochacha, the stern and harsh chastisement, and the laws of evaluation, discussing the &ldquo;value&rdquo; of every single human being, man, woman, and child?

The SS guards began taunting and teasing the Klausenberger Rebbe, pulling his beard and pushing him around. The vile soldiers trained their guns on him as the commander began to speak. &quot;Tell us Rabbi,&quot; sneered the officer, &quot;do you really believe that you are the Chosen People?&quot; 

<span style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 130%; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-size: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial;">Charlie Boswell was a great athlete who became blind during World War II while rescuing his friend from a tank that was under fire. When he returned to this country after the War, he decided to take up a sport that he had never tried as yet&mdash;golf. Years of Practice and determination led him to win the honor of National Blind Golf Champion no less than 13 times. 

<span style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-size: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial;">But then came the day when he was challenged to play against the legendary golfer Ben Hogan.

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jewish survival

self esteem

challenges

dignity

Are You Still the Chosen People?

Essay Bechokosei

The Fighter Still Remains

Likkutei Torah Bamidbar/Shavuos Maamar Einyan Shenetnah Torah

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bitul

humility

confidence

mt. sinai

If Torah Demands Humility, Why Was It Given on a Mountain?

Likkutei Torah Baal Hatanya Einyan Shenetnah Torah

You Can't Serve G-d If You Feel Like a Shmateh

This women&#39;s class was presented on Tuesday morning, 5 Teves 5777, January 3, 2017, At Ohr Chaim shul, Monsey, NY

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yosef

vayeishev

vayechi

dispelling darkness

forgiveness

resentment

vyigash

happiness

yosef and his brothers

depression

miketz

How Could Yosef Forgive His Brothers for All The Suffering They Brought On Him?

Vayigash Women's Class 

Confronting Your Pain: Were You Sold or Sent?

Climbing the hotel

Bill, Jim, and Scott were at a convention together sharing a large suite at the top of a 75-story hotel. After a long day of meetings, they were shocked to hear that the elevators in their hotel were broken, and they would have to climb 75 flights of stairs to get to their room. 
 
Bill said to Jim and Scott, "Let's break the monotony of this unpleasant task by concentrating on something interesting. I'll tell jokes for 25 flights, Jim can sing songs for the next 25 flights and Scott will tell sad stories for the rest of the way." On the 26th floor, Bill stopped telling jokes and Jim began to sing. At the 51st floor, Jim stopped singing and Scott began to tell sad stories. 
 
"I will tell my saddest story first," he said. "I left the room key in the car."

No Stairs

This week's Torah portion, Yisro, capturing the most important and defining event in Jewish history, the covenant crafted between G-d and a people chosen to become the paragons of morality and holiness in an earthly world, concludes with a&nbsp;strange instruction (1): 
 
"You shall not ascend My Altar on steps so that your nakedness will not be uncovered upon it."

The biblical commentators explain (2) that the priests serving in the Temple wore short pants, spanning from the thighs to the knees. Ascending stairs requires one to take wide, extensive, and spacious steps, which would expose more of their body, and would not befit the reverence required in G-d's home. The Torah, therefore, required a ramp ascending to the altar, since this allows the priest to take small strides in a dignified and respectful manner.

The great 11th century French biblical commentator Rashi (3) explains this in greater detail: "Steps require you to take wide strides. Although this does not in actuality expose your nakedness… nonetheless, taking wide steps is close to exposing nakedness. Thus, by taking wide steps, you treat the stones of the altar in a humiliating manner." Rashi adds that this mitzvah teaches us an important moral lesson. "If regarding these stones which lack the perception to be hurt by their humiliation, the Torah says, 'Since there is a need for them, do not treat them in a humiliating manner,' your fellow human being who is created in the image of your Creator and is sensitive to humiliation, how much more so must you treat him with respect!"

The Climax

As mentioned above, this week's portion captures the most significant event in the history of the Jewish people and of the world — when G-d, in a moment never to be repeated again — revealed to an entire nation His existence, charging it with the mission of saturating the world with holiness. This was the moment when the Creator communicated to the world His universal laws of morality and ethics. If we believe that somebody created the world and cares about its destiny, it is fair to assume that at some point this Being communicated with its inhabitants His intent in creation. This is indeed what transpired at Sinai. It was the event that gave human history, in historian Paul Johnson's words, "the dignity of purpose." It paved the road in the jungle of history. 
 
One would expect that the closing sentence of this portion would somehow capture the power and grace of this extraordinary moment, one that in many ways shapes the moral history of humanity. Yet the Torah chooses to culminate this section with what seems to be a simple and mundane law: "You shall not ascend My altar on steps so that your nakedness will not be uncovered upon it." Why? (4)

Finding Your Own Truth

It is precisely in these final words that the Torah shares with us a moving lesson regarding the human quest to "ascend G-d's Altar," to climb the ladder of moral and spiritual enlightenment. 
 
Often in life, people experience a new awareness that inspires them to move their lives to a different level, to live deeper, and to love deeper. They are moved to make changes. 
 
Yet sometimes, as a result of a genuine longing to abandon a previous lifestyle of shallowness, falsehood, addiction, promiscuity, loneliness, or shame, people begin to take wide and expansive steps, determined to reach great peaks in short spans of time, craving to master elevated modes of consciousness and lifestyles. 
 
Thus, immediately following the most spiritually enlightening and earth-shattering event in history, when G-d shared Himself with humanity, the Torah culminates with this declaration: "You shall not ascend My Altar on steps, so that your nakedness will not be uncovered upon it." Do not become who you are not. Do not jump to places beyond yourself. Every movement forward must be internalized and integrated into your individual identity because when you take steps that overwhelm you, rather than elevate you, you may end up naked and exposed. You might fall down fast and hard. People who overestimate themselves, often end up underestimating themselves. 
 
Never disregard, the Torah is teaching us, the value of one small move in the quest for truth. Wherever you are in life, you can serve G-d genuinely according to your own potential and situation. You&nbsp;can discover the light of G-d within your present condition. Challenge yourself to encounter your own inner light and truth; you need not climb on the truths and experiences of others. Grow you must; challenge yourself you must. But take the ramp, not the stairs. Don't jump ahead of yourself, because your authentic self may be left behind. And when you discover that, you may fall down and lose everything. You might end up bare. 
 
King Solomon put it simply (5): "Do not stand in the place of the great." Why? Not because by stepping into the shoes of the great, you will be robbing somebody else of his or her place of greatness. Rather, by doing so, you will be denying yourself your own individual process, the one that is great for you. Real people are inspired by other people but never copy them. 
 
Of course, there are moments you make take a big jump that may initially seem frightening. Big things happen when ordinary people muster the courage to actualize extraordinary visions. The path to recovery and to healing always requires a drastic leap. Yet we must ensure that these big steps enhance our true identity rather than crush it; that they embody our inner calling, mission, and power, not a superficial emulation of other people's standards and behaviors.

“To Thine Own Self Be True,” is also true in the religious and spiritual life. Sometimes even more. G-d wants you to be you, not me. He wants me to be me, not you.

Wine and Vinegar

A Talmudic vignette: 
 
The Talmud&nbsp;(6) quotes one of its great sages, Mar Eukva, saying the following curious statement about himself: "I am, in comparison to my father, what vinegar is in comparison to wine. When my father would eat meat, he would wait a full 24 hours until he ate cheese. But I? When I eat meat, I eat cheese during the following meal" (around six hours later (7)). 
 
The obvious question is, if this Talmudic sage held his father's behavior in such high esteem, to the extent of seeing himself as vinegar compared to his father as wine, why didn't he change his behavior and follow his father's custom? Why didn't he turn himself into "wine?" 
 
The answer may be that Mar Eukva was keenly aware of the truth that his father was on a totally different spiritual level than he. Waiting a full 24 hours after eating meat before he would eat cheese would in some mystical way enrich his father's soul. For the son to engage in this behavior, it would be merely an act of copying and mimicking his father's behavior. For his soul, this would be a meaningless experience. 
 
Since according to Jewish law, after eating meat one needs to wait only six hours in order to eat dairy products, this sufficed for Mar Eukvah (8).

__________________

1) Exodus 20:23. 
2) Sefer Hachinuch Mitzvah # 41. Cf. Rambam's Sefer Hamitzvos Mitzvah Lo Saaseh #80. 
3) Rashi to Exodus ibid. from Mechilta. 
4) Also: A well-known axiom in Jewish thought is that every single mitzvah contains, in addition to its literal meaning, a psychological and spiritual interpretation (See Rambam end of Hilchos Temurah.)&nbsp;The physical and concrete dimension of a mitzvah may not be relevant anymore, yet its metaphysical message, transcending the boundaries of a particular milieu or location, remains timelessly relevant in our inner hearts and psyches.&nbsp;The same is true, of course, concerning this mitzvah. In the absence of a Temple and an altar, the instruction not to use stairs, is, practically speaking, irrelevant. But we must search for the spiritual idea behind this mitzvah, which remains as timely today as it ever was. 
5) Proverbs 25:6. 
6) Chulin 105a. 
7) See Rambam Hilchos Maachalos Asuros 9:28. Shlchan Aruch Yoreh Deah section 89 and commentaries ibid. 
8) This essay is based on Letorah Ulemoadim, by Rabbi Shlomo Yosef Zevin, Parshas Yisro. For another spiritual interpretation of this mitzvah, see Or Hatorah (by the Tzemach Tzedek) Parshas Vayeizei p.&nbsp;850.

Why no steps going up the altar?&nbsp;

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yisro

altar

growth

individuality

mar eukva

steps

ramp

Why No Steps Ascending to the Altar?

Essay Yisro

To Thine Own Self Be True

How To Talk To Your Children- The Power the Words You Use Have on Your Children. Class 1 of 4 

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drizin_class_1.mp3

How Words You Use Impact Your Children. Class 1 of 4 

How To Talk To Your Children

The Story of My Life -- How To Build Your Child's Self Esteem- We Are the Stories That We Tell, and the Stories Others Tell About Us. Lecture 2 of 4 

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drizin_class_2.360p.mp4

drizin_class_2.mp3

We Are the Stories That We Tell, and the Stories Others Tell About Us. Lecture 2 of 4 

The Story of My Life -- How To Build Your Child's Self Esteem

Rewriting the Script of Your Life: Labels Make Us Feel that We Are All of Whatever the Label Says We Are. But We Are Not All of Anything. Class 3 of 4

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drizin_class_3.mp3

identity

script of life

lables

Labels Make Us Feel that We Are All of Whatever the Label Says We Are. But We Are Not All of Anything. Class 3 of 4

Rewriting the Script of Your Life

The Conclusion of the Series on Narrative Therapy. Class 4 of 4

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22_4_is_there_only_one_way_to_raise_your_child.pdf

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drizin_class_4.mp3

education

narrative therapy

raising children

The Conclusion of the Series on Narrative Therapy. Class 4 of 4

Is There Only One Right Way to Raise Your Child?

Chabad Vs. Nietzsche - &lsquo;Love Thy Ego&rsquo; is at the Core of Torah. What the German Philosopher Didn&rsquo;t Understand About Judaism

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22_19_kislev_program_5771.pdf

nietzsche

‘Love Thy Ego’ is at the Core of Torah. What the German Philosopher Didn’t Understand About Judaism

Chabad Vs. Nietzsche

<div style="text-align: justify; line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
Two Perspectives
Two cowboys come upon an Indian lying on his stomach with his ear to the ground. One of the cowboys stops and says to the other, "You see that Indian?" "Yeah," says the other cowboy. "Look," says the first one, "he's listening to the ground. He can hear things for miles in any direction." Just then the Indian looks up. "Covered wagon," he says, "about two miles away. Have two horses, one brown, one white. Man, woman, child, and household articles in wagon." “Incredible!" says the cowboy to his friend. "This Indian knows how far away they are, how many horses, what color they are, who is in the wagon, and what is in the wagon. Amazing!" The Indian looks up and says, "Ran over me about a half-hour ago."
Why Celebrate Oil?
The kindling of a menorah during the eight days of Chanukah commemorates an ancient miracle that occurred in our Jerusalem Holy Temple, some 2300 years ago. Following the victory of the Jews over their Greek oppressors who desecrated the Temple and attempted to destroy Judaism, a little cruse of unsoiled olive oil found in the Temple lasted and burned for eight days, till the Jews managed to purchase new pure oil for the daily kindling of the Temple Candelabra. To commemorate this display of Divine grace in a world usually enslaved to nature, the sages of Israel instituted the eight-day holiday of Chanukah, in which we kindle a menorah each night.
In that sense, oil embodies the essence of the Chanukah narrative and serves as the main focus of the festival of lights. Indeed, in many a Jewish household, the Chanukah lamps consist of wicks dipped in olive oil, replicating the Temple Menorah lamps. Throughout the holiday we eat various foods soaked in oil, from latkes to donuts (oy, the calories).
This is strange. The miracle of the oil, it would seem, was of minor significance relative to the military victory. Besides the fact that this was a miracle that occurred behind the closed doors of the Temple with only a few priests to behold, it was an event concerning a religious symbol without any consequences on life, death and liberty. If the Jews would have been defeated by the Greeks, there would be no Jews today; if the oil would have not burnt for eight days, so what? The menorah would have not been kindled. Would the latkes taste any worse?
Why did the main focus of the Chanukah become oil?
Many insights have been offered. In this essay, we present a symbolic explanation, relating to the inner psychological universe of man. It is based on a pre-Chanukah letter penned by the Lubavitcher Rebbe in 1947.<a href="javascript: void(0);" id="_edn1" onclick="ty.scrollTo('_ednref1')">[1]</a>&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;
Four Qualities of Oil
Olive oil contains four interesting qualities.
A) Olive oil is produced by crushing and beating ripe olives. The olive must be severely “humbled” and pressed in order to emit its oil.
B) Olive Oil, as many other oils extracted from minerals, plants and animals, penetrates solid substances deeply. We all know how difficult it is to remove the oily grease that makes its way into our fingers or our clothes. Various oils have been used throughout history as remedies for bodily wounds and diseases, since oil penetrates the body far beyond its external tissue.
C) Oil does not mix with other liquids. When you attempt to mix, say, oil with water, the oil will remain distinct and will not dissolve in the water.
D) Not only will oil not mix and become dissolved in other liquids, rather staying in place or sinking downward, but furthermore, the oil will rise, floating atop any other liquids.
On a symbolic level, these appear as paradoxical characteristics. Is oil “humble” or “arrogant?” It is beaten badly, yet it rises to the top!
From Spiritual to Physical
In the writings of Jewish Mysticism, all physical properties of any existing object are seen as continuums of their metaphysical properties. Every object originates in the realm of the spirit, embodied by a particular sublime energy. Then the energy evolves to assume a physical reincarnation, giving rise to particular physical characteristics that mirror their spiritual source.
This, parenthetically, constitutes an extremely rich component of Judaism. From the vantage point of Torah, the truths of science, physics, chemistry, biology etc. and the truths of philosophy, spirituality and psychology are merged together in a perfect mosaic, since the physical evolves from the spiritual.
The same principle applies to oil as well. The four above-mentioned qualities displayed in oil are essentially a physical manifestation of four spiritual and psychological attributes from where oil originates. They, in turn, evolve and assume the four physical forms of expression outlined above.
Four Cardinal Principles
In our lives, we must learn how to become “oil”-like. We must learn to cultivate the four properties characterizing oil.
A)&nbsp;The crushing and pressing of the olives, which allows you to become oil, represents the notion of humbleness, the antithesis of arrogance and self-inflation. Seeing ourselves for who we really are, being open to discover our biases, blind spots and errors, allows us to genuinely grow.
B)&nbsp;The direct result of this “pressing” is your ability to become oil-like and, just like oil, penetrate others deeply. When you’re haughty and pompous (usually because of a lack of self-confidence and hence the need to create a delusional self-confidence), you are incapable of sharing yourself with others, or allowing them to share themselves with you. You hide in a bubble, afraid of being vulnerable and authentic. You can’t be in a real relationship. Only when your fake ego is crushed a little bit, either by choice or by life’s circumstances, you have the courage to show up in the world, and to show up to other people, with the real “you.” You can then connect with other people’s hearts profoundly.
C)&nbsp;&nbsp;Humility and genuine relationships must never allow you to be pulled down and completely defined by the relationships. You must never forfeit your individual identity and to dissolve in the emotions or choices of the other person. The beauty and magic of a relationship lay precisely in the fact that two distinct individuals choose to share themselves with each other. Just like oil, you know how to feel and experience another human being deeply, while still not becoming consumed and nullified by the other’s identity. Like oil, you must always retain your distinctiveness.
The holy master Rabbi Menachem Mendel of Kotzk (1787-1859) once remarked: “If I am I because you are you and you are you because I am I, I am not I and you are not you; but if I am I because I am I and you are you because you are you, then I am and you are.” Now we can begin to schmooze.
D)&nbsp;&nbsp;This threefold process of crushing yourself, bonding with others and at the same time retaining your distinctiveness – should ultimately cause you to rise—just like oil—to the top, and “float” head and shoulders above all which is around you. Realizing that you are a “Piece of the Divine,”<a href="javascript: void(0);" id="_edn2" onclick="ty.scrollTo('_ednref2')">[2]</a>&nbsp;and that at every moment you are an ambassador of G-d to our world, allows you to experience yourself as invincible, wholesome and way above the gravel that you may encounter in yourself or others. This comes not from arrogance but from realizing that your core is part of the infinite. Just like oil, you, too, rise to the top.
The Talmud states,<a href="javascript: void(0);" id="_edn3" onclick="ty.scrollTo('_ednref3')">[3]</a>&nbsp;“The messenger of a person is just like sender.” If G-d chose you and sent you on a mission to this world, you are G-dlike! If you can only identify that space within yourself, nobody can compare to you.&nbsp;&nbsp;
This was the deeper mystical significance of a miracle that caused oil to increase. And it is why we celebrate with focusing on oil, for this story captures the rhythm of life. For me to become a glowing menorah, casting light in me and around me, and lighting up the world, I must be oil-like: First, I must discover the art of humility and integrity; second, I must allow myself to show up in my relationships genuinely and wholesomely; third, I must retain my distinctiveness and individuality; fourth, I must always recognize that part in me which is always “on the top.”
Judaism, particularly its festival of Chanukah, comes to teach ordinary human beings how to become oil-like. If we wish to ignite a fire in our lives, we ought to take a good and deep look at the olive oil in our Menorahs
Happy Chanukah and happy Thanksgiving – let’s go easy on the physical oily foods, but not on the spiritual message of oil.
&nbsp;
<a href="javascript: void(0);" id="_ednref1" onclick="ty.scrollTo('_edn1')">[1]</a> This essay is based on a letter by the Lubavitcher Rebbe, written on 20 Kislev, 5708 (1947), published in Igros Kodesh vol. 2 page 316. (It is also published in Likkutei sichos vol. 10 p. 293; Shaarei Hamoadim – Chanukah, pp. 172-3.)
<a href="javascript: void(0);" id="_ednref2" onclick="ty.scrollTo('_edn2')">[2]</a> Tanya chapter 2.&nbsp;
<a href="javascript: void(0);" id="_ednref3" onclick="ty.scrollTo('_edn3')">[3]</a> Kishushin 41a.
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The Paradoxes of Oil as a Guide for Living - The Deeper Meaning of the Chanukah Oil Miracle

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The Deeper Meaning of the Chanukah Oil Miracle

The Paradoxes of Oil as a Guide for Living

Counting the Jews

<div style="margin: 12pt 0in; line-height: 120%; text-align: justify;">The opening verses of this week’s Torah portion, Ki Sisa, convey G-d’s instruction to Moses on how to count the Jewish people. When it is necessary to conduct a census, Jews are&nbsp;to be counted not in an ordinary manner, person by person, but rather, every member of the community should contribute a coin for charity, and then the coins should be counted to determine how many people contributed.</div>

<div style="margin: 12pt 0in; line-height: 120%; text-align: justify;">What is the rationale behind this instruction? Why the need to count the community in such a round-about fashion, rather than simply counting the people directly?</div>

<div style="margin: 12pt 0in; line-height: 120%; text-align: justify;">Two messages, it seems, are being conveyed here.</div>

<div style="margin: 12pt 0in; line-height: 120%; text-align: justify;">What&nbsp;Are You Worth?</div>

<div style="margin: 12pt 0in; line-height: 120%; text-align: justify;">First, the Torah is suggesting that you are counted not based on who you are but on what you give. Your genuine value and worth spring forth from your contribution to another soul, from the love and kindness you impart to another heart.</div>

<div style="margin: 12pt 0in; line-height: 120%; text-align: justify;">Sir Moses Montefiore, a 19th century Jewish international diplomat and philanthropist, was once asked how much he was worth. The wealthy man thought for a while and named a figure. The other replied, “That can’t be right. By my calculation you must be worth many times that amount.”</div>

<div style="margin: 12pt 0in; line-height: 120%; text-align: justify;">Moses Montefiore’s reply was this: “You didn’t ask me how much I own. You asked me how much I’m worth. So I calculated the amount I have given to charity this year and that is the figure I gave you. You see,” he said, “we are worth what we are willing to share with others.”</div>

<div style="margin: 12pt 0in; line-height: 120%; text-align: justify;">Evaluating a people</div>

<div style="margin: 12pt 0in; line-height: 120%; text-align: justify;">Yet, there seems to be a one more vital message presented in this instruction, one that would reverberate throughout history.</div>

<div style="margin: 12pt 0in; line-height: 120%; text-align: justify;">To appreciate the value and greatness of a people, the Torah is suggesting, you must study not the number of its bodies, but the breadth of&nbsp;their contributions. What matters most is not the quantity of its adherents, but rather their commitment towards making a difference and their inspiration and readiness to make sacrifices for their values and ideals. Numbers can be deceiving. Large groups of people often barely leave a trace. On the other hand, there are times that small groups, when committed heart and soul to their mission statement, have left an enormous impact, totally disproportionate to their numbers.</div>

<div style="margin: 12pt 0in; line-height: 120%; text-align: justify;">To appreciate the significance of Jewish existence, the Bible is telling us, you must study not its numbers: Jews never constituted more than one percent of society. Rather, you must examine the impact this little monotheistic group has had on the world. Other nations, cultures and civilizations enjoyed far greater numbers, larger territories and mightier armies. But no other person or nation has left an impression on the very fabric of civilization as the relatively few and often hunted and persecuted descendants of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.</div>

<div style="margin: 12pt 0in; line-height: 120%; text-align: justify;">As the Irish writer Thomas Cahill wrote in his national bestseller The Gifts of the Jews: How a Tribe of Desert Nomads Changed the Way Everyone Thinks and Feels:</div>

<div style="margin: 12pt 0in; line-height: 120%; text-align: justify;">“Most of our best words in fact – new, adventure, surprise; unique individual, person, vocation; time, history, future; freedom, progress, spirit; faith, hope and justice—are the gifts of the Jews ... We can hardly get up in the morning or cross the street without being Jewish. We dream Jewish dreams and hope Jewish hopes.” &nbsp;</div>

<div style="margin: 12pt 0in; line-height: 120%; text-align: justify;">Here is a passage by historian Paul Johnson in his bestseller “History of the Jews:”</div>

<div style="margin: 12pt 0in; line-height: 120%; text-align: justify;">"All the great conceptual discoveries of the intellect seem obvious and inescapable once they have been revealed, but it requires a special genius to formulate them for the first time. The Jew has this gift. To them we owe the idea of equality before the law, both divine and human; of the sanctity of life and the dignity of the human person; of the individual conscience and so of personal redemption; of the collective conscience and so of social responsibility; of peace as an abstract ideal and love as the foundation of justice, and many other items which constitute the basic moral furniture of the human mind. Without the Jews, it might have been a much emptier place."</div>

<div style="margin: 12pt 0in; line-height: 120%; text-align: justify;">The Power to Love</div>

<div style="margin: 12pt 0in; line-height: 120%; text-align: justify;">Just as this is true concerning our national identity, it is true concerning every individual person. At times you may think to yourself, “I am worthless; I amount to nothing.”</div>

<div style="margin: 12pt 0in; line-height: 120%; text-align: justify;">Comes the Torah and says, that you on your own, cloistered in your vanity and egotism, detached from your true core of absolute dignity and majesty, may indeed amount to a small, futile creature, unworthy of counting (“If I am only for myself, what am I,” Hillel is quoted as saying in the Ethics of the Fathers). However, each of us, at our core, is a "spark of the Divine," a "fragment" of His light, a free, wholsome, confident and happy spirit. As such you have the power to contribute something to the world, to reach out to an individual in need. Each of us has the ability to touch a heart, to lift a spirit, to kindle a soul, to look a fellow human being in the eyes and say “I Love you.”</div>

<div style="margin: 12pt 0in; line-height: 120%; text-align: justify;">You may be small indeed, but the love and light you can bring to another life through a simple gesture, a sincere “good morning,” or an act of goodness and kindness, is immeasurable and cannot be counted.</div>

<div style="margin: 12pt 0in; line-height: 120%; text-align: justify;">And when you reach out to others, you will discover the depth of the love that G-d has for you. You are part of His light, thus you can share His light with so many others.</div>

Searching for Self-Esteem? - How Do You Judge Your Worth?

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ki sisa

How Do You Judge Your Worth?

Searching for Self-Esteem?

Let us closely examine which story the Bible chooses to record following the devastating flood, the greatest natural disaster of all times, which wiped out almost all of humanity. It is the ambiguous story of the Tower of Babel. And here is how it reads<a id="_edn1" href="javascript: void(0);" onclick="ty.scrollTo('_ednref1')">[1]</a>:&nbsp;&nbsp;
"The whole earth was of one language and of common purpose ... And they said one to another: '...Let us build for ourselves a city and a tower whose top shall reach the heavens, and let us make a name for ourselves, lest we be scattered over the face of the entire earth.'&nbsp;&nbsp;
"And G-d descended to look at the city and tower which the sons of man built, and G-d said, '...Shall it not be withheld from them all they proposed to do?...' G-d scattered them across the face of the earth, and they stopped building the city."&nbsp;&nbsp;
Is Construction Evil?&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; This is a strange story. Why did G-d interrupt their project? What was their sin? Their motives for building a city with a tower "whose top shall reach the heavens" are quite understandable, even noble. Mankind was only just reconstructing itself after the Flood, which had wiped out the entire human race, save for Noah and his family. Noah and his children were, according to tradition, still&nbsp;alive, thus giving the people a first-hand report of the Flood. If fledgling humanity were to survive, they needed to construct a strong city and tower that could possibly avoid the next disaster.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;
What was wrong with their scheme? Hasn't the Bible made it a moral imperative to "Be fruitful and multiply, fill the earth, and subdue it<a id="_edn2" href="javascript: void(0);" onclick="ty.scrollTo('_ednref2')">[2]</a>"?&nbsp;&nbsp;
Subduing the world never meant obliterating nature, or despoiling the environment. It meant responsible stewardship and making ourselves less vulnerable to nature through every possible natural mean. Why did G-d disapprove of their seemingly wonderful undertaking?&nbsp;&nbsp;
One of the possible answers is this: In stating their objective for creating the city and the tower, the people declared, "Let us build for ourselves a city and a tower whose top shall reach the heavens, and let us make a name for ourselves." Their motive behind this dramatic construction plan was to immortalize their legacy in concrete structure; the endurance of their names in the annals of history.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;
But what's the big deal? Who among us does not crave to be remembered? Who among us would mind securing a place in Who's Who? How many of us would crave to read about ourselves in the newspapers&nbsp;or on the websites (as long as the name is spelled right)? How many of us really loathe seeing our names carved in glory on concrete walls, on the printed page and in the lasting pages of history books? Does G-d really care&nbsp;that much&nbsp;if people want to make a name for themselves?&nbsp;&nbsp;
Can You Ever Forget?&nbsp;&nbsp; The answer is simple. When you have observed a flood in which the entire human race has perished, have you nothing else to think about but securing for yourself a name and a legacy?&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;
Imagine somebody gazing at a home swiftly being consumed by a flood. Instead of running to rescue the people inside the home, this person stands and reflects how he can be sure to make a name for himself in the process. This would be grotesque. Can't you ever forget about your ego? Is there never a moment you are capable of saying to yourself, "Forget&nbsp;my&nbsp;legacy!&nbsp;Human lives need to be saved!"&nbsp;
There are such people. They are PR addicts, at all expenses. A tragedy strikes and their only concern is: How do I use this to make a name for myself? How do I seize the opportunity to get my name out there yet again? These people usually need help. Their inner core is all-but-dead. In the long run, it is likely to harm their PR too, since they have nothing truly “inside” to give and display to the world.&nbsp;&nbsp;
When an entire generation has observed the consequences of a Flood that destroyed virtually the entire human race and becomes consumed instead with how to secure its legacy rather than with how to rebuild civilization and recreate a world founded on moral goodness and kindness, something is profoundly wrong. A worm has crept in to the very foundation of the project, and will ultimately prove destructive to the entire edifice. Corruption, manipulation, deceit and abuse of power are likely to flourish in the new city and tower.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;
This is true of every grand campaign undertaken to help humanity. If the objective is self-aggrandizement rather than service to G-d and His children, the&nbsp;very core is&nbsp;tainted.  And the consequences of this blemish will likely be manifested in the future.&nbsp;&nbsp;
To Touch a&nbsp;Heart&nbsp;&nbsp; Six decades ago our people experienced the greatest “flood” in our long and bloody history, with the murder of a third of the Jewish people, including one-and-a-half million children. Hundreds of communities were systematically wiped out and nobody uttered a pips.&nbsp;
In the aftermath of this titanic destruction, there were those who succumbed to basic human nature and asked one question: How do I make a name for myself as a grand leader, activist or visionary? But there were others who had one question on their mind: What do I do to rebuild a shattered people?&nbsp;
In our own lives we often observe people whose lives have been destroyed by a “flood,” in one form or another.&nbsp;Our question at such a time must&nbsp;always&nbsp;be: How do I rebuild a broken heart? How can I ignite a tortured soul? How can I help a survivor? How do I bring more light into a dark world? How do I increase acts of goodness and kindness? What new mitzvah can I undertake to heal the world? How do I extend myself to be there for another person? What can I do to change my corner of the world and make it a more moral and holy place?&nbsp;&nbsp;
What will I do today and tomorrow to move our aching planet one step closer to redemption?&nbsp;&nbsp;
(This essay is based on an address given by the&nbsp;Lubavitcher&nbsp;Rebbe&nbsp;in November 1959<a id="_edn3" href="javascript: void(0);" onclick="ty.scrollTo('_ednref3')">[3]</a> to a group of wealthy Jewish leaders on how we ought to respond to the "flood" of the Holocaust that exterminated a third of the Jewish people.)&nbsp;
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<a id="_ednref1" href="javascript: void(0);" onclick="ty.scrollTo('_edn1')">[1]</a> Genesis 11:3-9.&nbsp;
<a id="_ednref2" href="javascript: void(0);" onclick="ty.scrollTo('_edn2')">[2]</a> Genesis 1:28.&nbsp;
<a id="_ednref3" href="javascript: void(0);" onclick="ty.scrollTo('_edn3')">[3]</a> Published in&nbsp;Likkutei&nbsp;Sichos&nbsp;vol. 3 pp. 750-753.&nbsp;

PR Addicts - History's First Self Promoters

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History's First Self Promoters

PR Addicts

This class, presented to women in Lech Lecha 5770 (October 2010), explores a strange verse: "And G-d took Abraham outside, and He said, 'Please look heavenward and count the stars, if you are able to count them.' And He said to him, 'So will be your children.'"
What do these words mean? Do they mean that the Jews will be uncountable, just like the stars? Well this interpretation is contradicted by the reality of history. In every generation, the members of the Jewish nation could be counted. Before the Holocaust we were 18 million; today we are around 14 million. Yet there are far more than 14 million stars!
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To Dream the Impossible Dream

To Count the Impossible Count

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