The Music of Intoxication: The Kabbalistic story behind a rare musical note in the Torah

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wine

water

selfishness

nadav

musical note

mercha chafulah

matos

novach

torah vowels

lashon hara

yaakov eisav

The Kabbalah Behind a Rare Musical Note in the Torah

Class Parshas Matos

The Music of Intoxication

This women&#39;s class was presented on Tuesday Parshas Matos, 23 Tamuz 5777, July 18, 2017, at Ohr Chaim Shul in Monsey, NY

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midyan

psychology

midian

cleansing utensils

psychoanalysis

hagalah

keboloe kach polto

libun

koshering

The Three Psychological Laws of Koshering: 1. The Inside Counts, 2. You Can Always Expel Flavors, 3. You Expel In the Same Way You Absorbed.

Parshas Matos Women's Class

The Laws of Koshering Utensils -- and of Koshering Souls

Rabbi YY Jacobson presented this text-based class, in Likkutei Sichos Parshas Matos&nbsp;vol. 13, exploring the perplexing narrative about how the Jews divided and taxed the booty of Midyan.

This class was&nbsp;presented on&nbsp;Monday Parshas Matos-Masei, 21 Tammuz, 5780, July 13, 2020,&nbsp;streaming live from Rabbi Jacobson&#39;s home in Monsey, NY

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divine providence

war against midyan

midyan booty

Years Before Birth, the Script Was Being Written, So You Could Play Your Role Perfectly

Likkutei Sichos Matos

You Are Never Stuck 

"The Torah differentiates between two categories of husband: an arus, a betrothed husband, and a baal, 
a full husband. Under Torah law, marriage consists of two distinct stages. First is the betrothal (erusin), 
by which the bride becomes ""forbidden to the rest of the world."" From this point on, for another man to 
have relations with her is tantamount to adultery, and to dissolve the betrothal requires a get (writ of 
divorce), as for a full-fledged marriage. The betrothal, however, only establishes the prohibitive side of 
marriage (the exclusion of all other men from the relationship), but not the substance of the relationship 
itself—the two still cannot live together as man and wife. This is achieved through the second stage of 
marriage, the nissu'in, which renders man and wife ""one flesh."""
"In the 30th chapter of Numbers, the Torah discusses the laws of the annulment of vows. If a married 
woman makes a vow (“I promise I will not eat meat”), her husband has the authority to veto it, and
declare his wife's vows null and void."
" In Biblical and Talmudic times, the 
eirusin and the nissu'in were held on two separate occasions, so that for a certain period of time (usually 
a year) the bride and groom were bound by the prohibitions of marriage but had not yet begun their 
actual life together. In this period, the groom is called an arus, and only following the nissu'in, the 
second stage, he assumes the status of a baal."
"Regarding the annulment of vows, the arus and the baal differ in two respects. The baal has the sole
authority to annul his wife's vows, while the arus can do so only in conjunction with his bride's father. 
On the other hand, there is also an area in which the authority of the arus is greater than that of the 
baal: the baal can only annul vows made by his wife after their marriage (nissu'in), while the arus can 
revoke earlier vows, including those made by his bride prior to their betrothal."
"The Talmud explains that these two laws are interdependent. Because the baal's ability to annul his 
wife's vows derives solely from the relationship between them, he has no authority over vows made 
before this relationship came into being. And because the arus’s authority is in partnership with the 
father, it extends as far back as that of the father."
"Every law in Judaism, we know, has a psychological and emotional counterpart. This class explores the 
relevant personal ramifications of this law by examining two profiles of people: the human being who 
has made full peace with G-d, and the person who still struggles with G-d, and is never fully integrated 
with Him. At first glance it would seem the former is in a superior state, but in essence, it is the other 
way around."
"This class gives unique comfort to those of us who never seem to “get there” and are always enmeshed 
in a struggle against our demons, addictions, and inner challenges."


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wife

vows

stages of marriage

nissu'in

addiction

When addictions are powerful, and an abusive past is pulling you down, you need your Higher partner

The Betrothed Addict

This weekly women&#39;s class was presented on Tuesday, Parshas Matos-Maasei, 26 Tammuz, 5781, July 6, 2021, live from Rabbi YY Jacobson&#39;s home in Monsey, NY.

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self sabotage

Moshe Vs. Yehoshua: Sometimes Your Unconscious Fears Undermine Success

Women's Class/Sfas Emes Matos

How Do I Become Aware of My Self-Sabotage?

In this week&rsquo;s Torah reading we come across the silence of the Children of Gad and Reuben in the face of harsh rebuke from Moses, comparing them to the spies who dissuaded the nation from entering Israel. Yet despite the fact that they were planning to assist the Jews in war, they remained silent throughout the rebuke, not defending themselves. We didn&rsquo;t they speak up? 

Why did the Sefas Emes remain quiet as his famous grandfather, the first Rebbe of Ger, rebuke him undeservedly?

These two stories, along with fascinating teaching recorded by the tragic Jewish philosopher and heretic Solomon Maimon which he heard in the court of the Maggid of Mezritch, teach us some important lessons about the beauty and importance of healthy criticism.

The trouble with most of us is that we would rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism. The final proof of greatness lies in being able to endure criticism without resentment. 

But why is it hard for us? Why do so many of us jump at the first criticism we hear? Why do we implode or explode when someone criticizes us?

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criticism

tribe of gad and reuven

sefas emes

compliments

chidushei harim

self-esteem

shlomo maimon

What a Heretic Learnt in the Court of the Maggid about Self-Esteem

Essay Matos

Why Do I Resent Criticism?

Likkutei Torah Matos Maamar Veshama Aviha #2: A Father&#39;s Love&nbsp;

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love

trauma

abuse

attachment

When Your Child is Broken, Attachment Is the Way to Go

Likkutei Torah Matos Maamar Veshama Aviha #2

How Love Heals From Trauma

The Old Man
Arnold had reached the age of 105 and suddenly stopped going to synagogue. Worried by Arnold's absence after so many years of faithful attendance, his rabbi went to see him. He found him in excellent health, so the Rabbi asked, "How come after all these years we don't see you at services anymore?" Arnold looked around and lowered his voice. "I'll tell you, Rabbi," he whispered. "When I got to be 90, I expected G-d to take me any day. But then I got to be 95, then 100, then 105. So I figured that God is very busy and must have “forgotten” about me and I don't want to remind Him."
The Eastern Colonists
The children of Israel are en route to the Land of Canaan when they are attacked by the armies of Sichon and Og, whose domain lay on the eastern bank of the Jordanian river. Moses leads the Israelites into battle, defeats the two kings and conquers their land.
In an unexpected turn of events, the tribes of Gad and Reuben, who own an enormous amount of sheep and cattle, ask that they be given these territories, which were prime pastureland, in lieu of their allotment in the land of Canaan, which lay to the west of the Jordan. "The descendants of Reuben and Gad had an extremely large number of animals," the Bible relates in this week’s portion (1). "And they saw that the Ya’zer and Gilead areas were good for livestock. The descendants of Gad and Reuben came and presented the following petition to Moses… ‘If we have found favor in your eyes, may this land be given to your servants for a possession; do not take us across the Jordan.'" Moses becomes extremely upset. He gives them a fiery and dramatic sermon that lasts ten complete verses, a pretty long stretch in biblical narrative. "Shall your brothers go to war while you sit here?" Moses thunders. “Why do you dissuade the heart of the children of Israel from crossing to the land that G-d has given them”? Forty years earlier, he reminds them, the people of Israel had been poised to enter the land of Canaan. But following a negative report by the spies who were sent to scout the land, the entire nation spurned the land promised to their ancestors as the eternal heritage of Israel. G-d decreed that they remain in the desert for forty years, until that entire generation died out and a new generation prepared to accept the gift and challenge of the Promised Land. And now, said Moses to the Reubenites and the Gadites, you are repeating the sin of the Spies -- a sin which condemned an entire generation and stopped Jewish history in its tracks for forty years. Like your parents before you, you are about to dissuade the heart of your brethren from entering the land. "You will destroy this entire nation," Moses concludes his passionate rebuke. The Reubenites and Gadites accept Moses’ words with grace. In response, they clarify their original position. Far from seeking to free themselves from the impending wars for the Land, they were fully prepared to send their troops into the Land and take a leading role in the battles until they were successfully concluded. Only then would they return to the lands allotted to them in the east. "We will not return to our homes until every Israelite has received his Inheritance," they pledge. Moses consents to their plea. He changes his tone and grants them the territories they requested.
The Questions
Several points in this narrative are perplexing. First, since their intentions it seems, were really pure (they never had in mind to abandon their brethren going to war), how did Moses misread them so profoundly and grow so furious with them? Why did Moses not first inquire what their intentions were before coming down so hard on them? Second, Moses’ words focused on the point that it was unacceptable that one segment of Jewry isolates from the rest of the nation, shirking responsibility and escaping the fate of their brethren. But what about the seemingly more important point: G-d wanted the Jews to settle the land at the west of the Jordan! These people decided that they wish to remain in the Trans-Jordan, but who gave these two tribes the right to redefine the plan and choose the East instead of the West? Why did Moses consent to their request?
Searching for the Sub-Plot
Every serious student of the Hebrew Bible is aware that most biblical plots contain sub-plots (often sub-sub plots), rarely articulated in the narrative explicitly. Our present tale is no exception: The explicit narrative is about two tribes of Israel concerned with their enormous amount of livestock. Yet the drama in which this episode is captured in the Torah somehow gives one a sense that these tribes were not only concerned about their cattle; something very personal was at stake in their request to remain in the Trans-Jordan. What was it? The Bible gives us no hint. There is no way of knowing. We are left in the dark until Moses is about to leave the world. In the last section of Deuteronomy, just moments before his passing, Moses speaks to each of the twelve tribes of Israel. His words to the tribe of Gad must be heeded to carefully (2): “He [Gad] chose the first portion [of land available], for that is where the lawgiver’s plot is hidden.”
Unlimited Loyalty
These brief cryptic words, at last, expose to us the true reason behind Gad’s insistence to settle the territory to the East of the Jordan. Moses, the lawgiver, was destined to die in the East and never to cross the Jordan. Gad pined to remain with Moses. Gad would not allow Moses’ burial plot to remain isolated in the plains of Moab devoid of the presence of even a single Jew. The cry of Gad and Reuben “Do not take us across the Jordan,” was a plea not to separate them from Moses (3). If Moses is not destined to cross the river, they too did not wish to cross it (4). These were no mere farmers worrying about real-estate. These were souls so deeply attached to their Rebbe who were determined to spend their lives near the resting place of Moses (5).
Moses’ Intuition
Moses, clearly, did not anticipate such a movement. When the members of the tribes of Gad and Reuben approached him with their request, they naturally could not communicate the entire truth. They would not talk to Moses about his own death and his gravesite. Instead, they discussed secondary, albeit not dishonest, motivations, namely the fate of their abundant cattle. Moses, in his intuition, felt that what they were expressing to him did not capture the entire story. Moses sensed that their words eclipsed a deeper truth. He thus suspected them in contriving a scheme designed to escape responsibility. Hence, he rebuked them severely. Yet surprisingly, they accepted Moses’ words in grace. The narrative makes it clear that they were not upset by the false accusations Moses thrust upon them. Why not? Because they knew that they were not being straightforward. Above all, this was not about them and their ego; it was about their selfless love and dedication to Moses. His fury did not alienate them, it merely demonstrated once again the genuine leader Moses was and strengthened their resolve to remain in his proximity for eternity. (5*) Moses agreed to fulfill their request. He could not tear himself away from the people he dedicated his life to. If his people reciprocated the love he showered upon them, he would not be the one to expel them from his midst. And at the last moments before his death, he extols Gad for this deeply loving choice (6).
The mistake
Yet, after all is said, rabbinic commentary does criticize the Reubenites and Gadites for their decision to remain in the Trans-Jordan. The verse in Proverbs (7), “If an inheritance is seized hastily in the beginning, its end will not be blessed,” is applied in the Midrash (8) to the two tribes who seized the territory to the East of the Jordan. Centuries later, when the Jews are exiled from their land through the Assyrian and later Babylonian empires, it is these two tribes who are the first to be exiled from their land. Why? Notwithstanding the noble and deeply moving intentions of Gad and Reuben, their choice is considered “hasty” and immature. It was emotionally compelling and profoundly moving, but spiritually short sighted. Yes, Gad and Reuben could not abandon Moses’ burial place. They were determined to remain in the proximity of Moses’ body. Yet they failed to realize that Moses’ true presence would not remain interred in the earth of the plains of Moab (9). Moses would continue to live on in his vision, in his ideas, in his teachings. And Moses vision was that the Jewish people fulfill their G-d given mandate to enter the Land of Canaan, settle it and transform it into a Holy Land, redefining the physical landscape of the land as an abode for G-dliness. Moses was never comprised of simple matter so that his identity would be defined merely in terms of his physical body (10). Moses’ life embodied a truth, a vision, a way of looking at the world and understanding the objective of man's journey on this earth. As long as that truth would live in the hearts of people dedicated to Moses’ dream of transforming the earthy land of Canaan into a divine landscape, Moses would remain alive (11).
To be in the physical presence of Moses is great. Greater yet is to leave his presence and fulfill his mission (12) to settle the Holy Land.
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Footnotes: 1) Numbers chapter 32. All the subsequent quotes are from this chapter. 2) Deuteronomy 33:21. 3) In a moving Chassidic interpretation, the great master Rabbi Simcha Bunam if Peshiscah found a hint to this idea in the biblical narrative. The Hebrew worlds, “The descendants of Reuben and Gad had an extremely large number of animals,” can also be translated as “The descendants of Reuben and the children of Gad possessed an enormous connection to their Rebbe (spiritual master). “Miknah Rav,” they had a deep acquisition in their Rav, in their Rebbe (quoted in Sefas Emes, Shem Mishmuel and Pardas Yosef Parshas Matos) 4) It is even possible to suggest a more daring thought (see Pardas Yosef ibid.): By settling in the East, they hoped to confer on those territories the status of the “Land of Israel.” This would mean that Moses had retroactively entered the Holy Land, for the East has become part of “Eretz Israel.” Now, once Moses entered part of the land, perhaps G-d would allow him to cross the Jordan and enter it fully. Moses would not have to die. 5) This might explain another enigma. Among Jacob’s twelve sons, Gad was the seventh, while Reuben was the oldest. Yet in this entire narrative concerning these two tribes, the children of Gad are mentioned first. The reason may be because Gad felt a deeper connection with Moses, as indicated in Moses’ words in Deuteronomy. 5*) Commentaries discuss that the reason they had so much cattle was cause they had a unique affinity for the manna and never slaughtered their cattle. Why did they love the manna so much? Because it was Moshe’s food, the manna came in his merit. They wished to eat his food. 6) Why was it the members of Gad and Reuben, among all other Jews, who were determined to remain near Moses? One answer is presented in Shem Mishmuel Parshas Matos who finds that these tribes uniquely reflected the characteristics of Moses. 7) 20:21 8) Bamidbar Rabah 22:7-9. 9) This may be the deeper meaning in the words of the Midrash that these tribes cherished material possessions over souls and people. On a deeper level it may indicate that Gad and Reuben appreciated Moses’ physical presence more than his spiritual identity. The former would die; the latter endures in his teachings and in the books and souls of his pupils, for eternity. A similar idea, albeit from a different angle, is discussed in Shem Mishmuel ibid. who&nbsp;explains&nbsp;the unique relationship of these tribes with Moses’ body. 10) See Tanya Igeres Hakodesh sections 27-28. 11) See Talmud Soteh 13b; Taanis 5b; Berochos 18a. 12) See Likkutei Sichos vol. 20 Lech Lecha—7 Cheshvan, where this contrast is discussed at length.
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