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  Rachele -4 years ago

  The “circle of life”: my experience with the maamar in my own life....

  When we start off in the journey of life most of us automatically step into the circle with the identity of tohu. We live in that bubble and think there is no other truth. We believe we have captured the light of the ultimate truth and purity and we faithfully stand guard around those forces with ferocious intensity. The option of opening up the circle feels like an act of betrayal to the self.

  In the perspective of tohu it’s like permitting the influence of other to enter into the circle and corrupt the self. In the view of transcendence our circle is keeping us enslaved and caged into this absolute reality. This circle controls us, it’s not an experience of freedom, it doesn’t allow us to evolve. We can’t remain there. We are enclosed with this infinite light  but we can’t bring it forth. We are burning up in it. There we can find ourselves in God. But not God in ourselves. That kind of existence is not sustainable. We are suffocating from the intensity of truth and purity and our passionate flames start to become extinguished.
  So in a desperate attempt to survive we surrender our existence in tohu, and throw ourselves into the world and oxygen of tikun.

  But in doing so many of us leave behind much of self. The self is disconnected and becomes void of vitality, purpose and meaning. We end up traveling on a “straight line”, but with no destination in sight. Instead of living in a state of the pursuit for purpose and meaning, we live in a state of avoidance. Avoiding pain, fear, confrontation, ect....and all the discomforts that living with self might bring. We exist in a state of primal fear and avoidance. We traded primal passion and intensity of tohu for the primal fear of falling off the” straight line”.

  Perhaps the ultimate purpose is to enter into a circle (that has no beginning or end). But it’s a circle that transcends control, it has no power and no say over what is part of the circle and what isn’t. We are reuniting and being mesaken both the tohu from his perspective and the tikun from being controlled by his perspective. Both were controlled by fear. Tohu the fear of losing it’s truth and purity and tikun the fear of not compromising enough, making waves, etc... Anytime fear is god there is no Godliness.
  Where Godliness and Divinity exist nothing is ever excluded, it’s “all inclusive”.

  In that place of transcendence the circle exists with no beginning and no end.

  
  It’s a circle that includes all and excludes nothing. Such a circle becomes a channel for God’s achdus and never has it’s own agenda or it’s own identity, it’s never there to exclude, only to include. Because every creation and force needs to be included in the symphony of life to play it’s own music and song of achdus.

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  Rachele -4 years ago

  Almost couldn’t write about this class today. Rereading it, I don’t feel that the words on this page are capturing my full experience of this mind blowing maimar. I want to share much more and share the deep experience that this maimar took me to during class. But it’s not possible to reflect this in words or sentences. Looking at my writing, I find it dry and cold. Not because it is, but because it’s hard to use words to describe this maimar.

  To listen to the maimar is to travel into the deepest core and essence of existence of oneself, the world and Elokus. Such an experiential journey the mind and ink can’t capture. To communicate and write it I have to shrink away from the actual experience and write with the memory of that experience.
  
  Class today taught us to validate every experience of existence. Every experience of tohu and tikun are Yeshus they happen in space and time. But what I learned today is that if I want to live outside of that space and time I have to be able to become fluid and move through them, without becoming stuck in the narrative of those stories and not borrow those events to create my identity. Yes, borrow those experiences, but only in order to allow them to carry me to the next level until I reach complete transcendence. We wear our experiences of life to cover ourselves from the elements but we should never identify with them, they are not the self.
  
  Between tohu and tikun, there is a bridge. A bridge we can stand on that takes us into transcendence. A place where we can transcend all those experiences from tohu and tikun. The experience of the intensity of tohu and the compromise in tikun. It’s a space where the infinite truth of non existence can hold all the middos, but without form. It’s a place of Ayin that holds the ultimate truth of every experience of existence and non existence.  A place of God’s azmius, essence, where God has no beginning and no end, and in that space we get to touch our own azmius, essence that has no beginning and no end. God’s Infinity and my finiteness don’t begin and don’t end. My essence and God’s essence mix.

  It’s a place that both God and me stand imageless. The light of God and the finite Keli of humanity don’t crash, because the light and Keli have no beginning and no end. In that place of splendor we can receive Divine infinity in measures that we would never be able to receive anywhere else. Because we are like a fetus that is protected by the mother, God allows all the spiritual infinite Divine light to nourish us and pass through us without breaking us, because we too are in a place of no beginning and no end.

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  Anshie -4 years ago

  Thanks so much for all your efforts. I Thanks Hashem that I'm able to live in Monsey and am easily able to attend the shiur in person. 

  Rashi in the parsha 12:3 hilights the idea about Hashem existing when 2 people make space for each other saying that Hashem actually spoke in between moshe and aharon when they made space for each other. 

  I attached a picture for convenience. Rashi

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• M

  Moshe -4 years ago

  The broken kali has no inherent shortcoming necessarily

  But its merely that the Ohr, the light was sometimes too much for that keli. So Moshe did not "suffer" from "kvad peh", i.e. an inability to  speak or heavy tongue, but rather the light coming in was too great. 

  Ok. 

  Is there any greater light possible than the light Hadhem has  especially the undiluted undiminished light before Creation? 

  That light should also have been too great for any kelim, or for speech orvwords, even Hashem's speech and words. 

  Yet that is exactly what He did. He contracted that light (tzimtzum) so much that words and  speech and worlds including this lowest physical world  could contain it.

  We are to.mimic and mirror Hashem.

  Moshe, therefore,  could have, even should have, similarly contracted his light enough to enter the vessels,  his speech and  works to articulate what was necessary. Especially as a shaliach of the Almighty! 

  Instead of  passing the  buck then, perhaps he should have just "gotten over it". 

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Chassidus: Torah Ohr Mi Sam Peh #6

Rabbi YY Jacobson

• January 29, 2020
• |
• 3 Sh'vat 5780
• |
• 482 views

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