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The Shame Around Addiction

An Open Conversation on Guilt, Shame, Trauma, & Recovery

3 hr 19 min
Adult Content

Class Summary:

Adult Content: A Webinar with Rabbi YY and Eli Nash discussing the shame around addiction, on Tuesday, March 8, 2022

Please leave your comment below!

  • Anonymous -1 year ago

    Amazing!!!!!

    Wow!!! Amazing!!!!!

    As a man in sex addiction recovery I really feel validated and got lots of insight into the whole world of recovery.

    Thank you Rabbi jacobson and Thank you ELi. You are both an inspiration to me and teh whole recovery community and as well to many that need to hear this.

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  • N

    null -1 year ago

    What an absolutely beautiful, insightful, impactful, helpful discussion. Thank you

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  • Anonymous -1 year ago

    Abuse

    Great talk thank you
    As a child I wasn't abused and I have a problem with porn. Since I was 10, Im now 55. They are not mutually exclusive abuse with addiction
    South Africa

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  • MY

    Menachem Yoffe -2 years ago

    Dial in phone

    Is there a way you listen to this by phone? Meaning, I know you can with the right code but is there a way to skip or hold my place so I can resume it? It makes it almost impossible to listen by phone as who has 3 plus hours at one time? I personally watched it as I have access but many people I know are wanting yo listen by phone. Thank you for all that you do and it's really incredible that you are covering topics that no one in the frum world wants to touch!

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  • Anonymous -2 years ago

    WOW

    No words!!!

    Thank you 

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  • V

    Volvi -2 years ago

    Hi I am a chasidish guy from a reel Ultra orthodox Hasidic community in Williamsburg :     I'm so amazed to hear finally this topic goes out!   In such a deep level with no lies and I'm so grateful to god that he gives this opportunity for the Frum  world to hear more about this urgent life-saving topic !    because by myself was molested by my eight  years by my brother in I'm still struggling but I am already in recovery a few years from sex addiction in I'm so glad that this amazing amazing speech going out this is so important subject!  that I know for myself from hundreds of my friends fellows and a lot of people that struggle with this, And They  holding by dying but they don't tell anybody about this because  the same etc. and all the thing that you spoke in this amazing amazing speech it Was bringing a lot of tears in my eyes that this topic is finally exposed to the frum people outside ,  I can only say one thing, that God should help that this strong message should go out and bring in a lot of people that struggling from their point of Despair to the point of healthiness . of recovery of happy joy and freedom you Can't  otherwise never know And this should  go out for all people that struggle:( with a strong message :).  that we are here to help you!!!  you are not alone in this journey !!! and there is a lot of recovery and health  and this is specially if you're from a frum litvish or chasidish  community or any from Community that was not allowed to speak from all these topics that you should not  be ashamed !!!! And to just keep coming back and ask for more information ! Because it is a lot help Out there!  you're not alone !   God is with you  just ask and get connected to one of the amazing 12 steps groups out there and you will surely meet someone as you trudged  the road of happy destiny  to live and get sober one day at a time                                                            Thank you another time 

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    • Anonymous -1 year ago

      I'm happy that you're in recovery though I would be careful to offer the 12 steps to open addict's as you might know especially in SA where all the ways of acting out is mentioned by everyone everyday- might make things harder if the person feels judged in SA please be careful

       thanks

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  • Anonymous -2 years ago

    I am so pleased and I don't know what words to share of how it's finally coming out that this addiction is finally coming to the core. I'm so proud of Rabbi Y.Y. But he has the courage to bring out the truth and integrity to what's going on in the Jewish world. I love Robert why won't I listen to him as much as I can. I believe he's a real leader and a real Role model and caring out God's will in every area an aspect of his life. And I'm so grateful that he's willing to share that with us. I'm 62 years old and I've never met or heard anybody like Rabbi Y. Y.. I went to the Lubavitcher Yeshiva in 1980 I what is the barbecue till I was 45 years old. And then I kind of went off the way no I'm coming back because of Walt Rabbi YY stands for. He reminds me so much of the previously Lubvitcher Rebbe Of blessed memory. We continue his extraordinary work and be blessed in all areas of his life.

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  • Anonymous -2 years ago

    Wish I heard this ten years ago. 
    I wouldn't make the mistakes I made by not knowing how to approach students going through all this pain. 
    I didn't dismiss but I wish I had the tools to help them and not be another adult that doesn't get it. 

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  • CFTC

    Code for the class -2 years ago

    Code for the class

    Whats is the passcode to whach the class?

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    • N

      na -2 years ago

      8460

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  • T

    T -2 years ago

    You did something amazing. You opened a closed conversation and you did it so well. I watched the first hour live and I look forward to finishing it.

    There is no one like you, what you do is changing our world. Thank you for doing this, it meant so much to me.


    Please make this the start of many events (maybe with Guard your Eyes) and shiurim on this topic. Maybe you can start a weekly shiur on Kedusha.Hopefully, this will open up many other speakers and educators to speak openly about this.

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  • C

    Chaim -2 years ago

    Sorry for switching the topic

    Does"news addiction" fall into the same category and can be treated likewise?

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    • Y

      Yitzi -2 years ago

      I am wondering the same thing...

      I am no expert, but I do believe it is a type of drug that helps one escape the uncomfortable realities that he/she may be trying to avoid. 
      I have an uncle that is so obsessed with news and politics and world events that it hinders his ability to hold a job and be a productive parent.

      I myself am also obsessed with News, politics and world events. In my case, it is definitely a space I go to in order to forget some of the stresses of life. Thank G-d I have been able to stay away from pornography. But this session with the news has replaced it somewhat. I'm sure overall it is a good thing... But ultimately there is an underlying issue that is not being addressed...

      curious to hear anyones thoughts on this. 

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      • Anonymous -1 year ago

        I'm suffering from political podcasts addiction

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  • י

    ישראל -2 years ago

    כבוד הרב שליט"א,
    איך האב פארברענגט מיט אייך אויף זאאם די לעצטע דריי שעה, און איך האב נישט קיין ווערטער אייך צו באדאנקען פאר דעם לעבנסוויכטיקן שיעור!
    די נושא איז ביי אונז אזוי שטארק טאבו און אזוי טיף באגראבן אז מען איגנארירט עס איבעראל, כאילו עס עקזיסטירט נישט בכלל (וואס איז א חלק, אויב נישט דער עיקר, פון די גרויסע צרה). און ווי איר האט אזוי עלעקוואנט דערמאנט אין אייערע ווערטער, אז טאקע וויבאלד די נושא ווערט אזוי שטארק איגנארירט פאלן מענטשן אריין טיפער. 
    הלוואי קענט איר ארומרעדן מער אפטער און דירעקט צו העלפן אידישע קינדער זיך ארויסזען פון זייערע ראנגלענישן, און הלוואי קען מען ארויפברענגען די נושא אויפן אויבערפלאך אויך צו חסידישע אינגעלייט וואס רעדן אידיש. דאס קען ראטעווען לעבנס!!! 
    יישר כוח מעומק הלב, 
    צעיר באלפי ישרא"ל

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    • Anonymous -2 years ago

      יא יא אמת ויציב 

      Reply to this comment.Flag this comment.

  • IN

    Isaac Neuwirth -2 years ago

    Question for Rabbi YY

    There is a new law that u can sue civilia a malester, would he advice/suggest to go down that route

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  • Anonymous -2 years ago

    I hope he never ever counsels a woman one on one...No man & woman should ever discuss these topics one on one!!!

    That would be completely inappropriate. 

    If Rabbi YY can make that clear, that might save disasters from happening!

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  • B

    BB -2 years ago

    Question for Rabbi YY

    How did you get past "I'm disgusting " from sexual abuse? I worked through this a lot. And feel much more self worth, but specifically with sex, I feel disgusting.

    Reply to this comment.Flag this comment.

  • IN

    Isaac Neuwirth -2 years ago

    Question for Rabbi YY

    This רבינו בחייis the most powerful vort I ever heard.... I can clearly say that I can see myself choosing all my challenges in my life,

    Reply to this comment.Flag this comment.

  • IN

    Isaac Neuwirth -2 years ago

    Question for Rabbi YY

    Whare is this רבינו בחיי

    Reply to this comment.Flag this comment.

    • J

      Joel -2 years ago

      פרשת כי תצא

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  • C

    Choula -2 years ago

    Eli

    Elis wife is an amazing human being

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  • LK

    Libi Kleinman -2 years ago

    Question for Rabbi YY

    Thank you thank you, as a survivor of sexual abuse you gave me so much hope to feel , and transform my traumatic experiences to something meaningful and bigger..

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  • Anonymous -2 years ago

    I feel so validated by this and I have so much respect for your bravery and openness. It gives me hope that I can overcome my challenges. 

    Reply to this comment.Flag this comment.

  • Anonymous -2 years ago

    Whats Eli Nash's email address? I would like to reach out.

    Reply to this comment.Flag this comment.

  • M

    M. -2 years ago

    Question for Rabbi YY

    I am a wife of a rabbi who was met strangers online for sex. It has been years of recovery for both of us. Please urge the spouses to seek help with S-Anon. They are not alone! Thank you for speaking so openly about this!

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  • Anonymous -2 years ago

    Question for Rabbi YY

    I don’t know if this is relevant, but someone who has been abused do they have to go to therapy, and someone who won’t go, what can I as a friend do?

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  • Y

    yehuda -2 years ago

    misguided kley-kodesh who. attribute sex addiction to the yetzer haraah convinced the addictt that he/she is a bad sinner, potentially leading to lower self esteen and possible suicide...

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  • YM

    yehuda mintz -2 years ago

    Question for Rabbi YY

    do you believe that addiction is a disease and is not an iyan of the yetzer harah, as so many kley kodesh suggest?

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    • CFGYE

      Chaim from Guard Your Eyes -2 years ago

      Real addiction is a disease. What many people refer to as addiction is not a disease. A person should be professionally diagnosed if he is truly an addict before making assumptions and taking treatment. 

      Reply to this comment.Flag this comment.

      • YIS

        Yaakov in SA/AA -1 year ago

        While that may be true, as they say in SA/AA, "Normal people don't sit around questioning whether or not they are an addict." As someone in recovery in both SA and AA, I still don't know 100% whether or not I am technichally an addict, but working with the assumption that I am can save me years of pain and has already taken me out from dispair and into a new life. I think it can in many cases be a mistake to delay treatment. The twelve steps can do wonders even for a normal person although there certianly is a risk because a person will be exposed to even greater form of the addiction. However, if one is suffering and is ready to put in the recovery work, without being a proffesional and not very experienced, I would say that it could be that it will only do him more harm to wait.

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  • B

    Ben -2 years ago

    Question for Rabbi YY

    Why would Hashem create a concept that can lead to for one to take his life?

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  • JHF

    Janet Hellman Fleischer -2 years ago

    Question for Rabbi YY

    Shame is a normal consequence of having a habit that causes Admas Nephesh, lying and stealing. A child has that innate feeling of shame at a very young age. It’s Hashem’s way of making us feel bad, about ourselves, a negative consequence. Hashem is allowed to do that. We cannot. The Torah says so. You cannot מלבין פנים. But we can give appropriate help for the level of addiction in a way that not only corrects bad behavior but also lifts up the person to a more spiritual domain. That feeling can help fill the voids of addiction which is why the person in the first case did the self destructive behavior. Unfortunately, it’s usually a family situation that causes the voids, so the family has to make changes. It’s a systems’ error when the person who hurts inside is the one most affected by toxic behavior, starts a path of destruction. How can one have the proper spiritual plane to do מצוות. Its very hard to do מצוות in a place of disorganisation, as the full menu of מצוות cause us to be highly organized. You cannot do all the מצוות without happy Focus. I It’s a tightrope walk to sobriety. But it’s very, very hard without a change in thinking by everyone in that system. We ARE ONLY as good as our worst kid and our worst adult. It’s unusual to happen with a healthy dynamic, but it does happen. How can we train more professionals to work with frum families, people familiar with religious culture. They usually have a higher sense of accomplishments while at the same time feeling a sense of inadequacy when trying to be modest, as we are taught in the classrooms, in the Torah, in our homes and in our Shuls. We cannot do this until we learn to work on these things and make it a priority. As religious leaders you must attend to this modern day מכה, and stop putting your heads in the sand How do we start that? How do we let people know there is hope? Thank you rabbi for your committee to teaching loving Torah is better with a smile on our faces. Knowledge penetrates easier. ב״ה may we get rewarded for good behavior to bring on משיח. I’m 72 and it feels like it felt during the six day war, thee Cuban missile crisis, the Kennedy and Rev King’s assassinations, the Yom Kippur War, labor pains and 9/11 all rolled into one. I feel Hashem’s miracles here and more coming. Purim will be a turning point.

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  • JB

    Jeremy Benchaya -2 years ago

    Question for Rabbi YY

    How can you overcome this addiction when it feels like everywhere you look in society and social media you see inappropriate things which pull you back into the cycle. Another thing is how easily accessible this horrible addiction is, with just one click of a button you can see whatever you want. What can a young jew do about this addiction that I've tried many times to quit.

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    • Y

      yehuda -2 years ago

      join an sa or saa 12 step program; you.will learn and ultimately believe that "you are a good person with a bad disease" there is no known cure, but we can be treated yom-yom

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Adult Content: Webinar With Rabbi YY & Eli Nash

Rabbi YY Jacobson

  • March 8, 2022
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  • 5 Adar II 5782
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  • 5328 views

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