Can You Make Space for My Struggle? Why Yaakov Had to Marry Leah
Whatever I Don’t Deal With, Will Resurface Later in My Life for Repair
Women's Vayetzei Class
- November 29, 2022
- |
- 5 Kislev 5783
Rabbi YY Jacobson
2920 views- Comment
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לעילוי נשמת הרב החסיד יוסף יצחק בן אלעזר קלמן כ"ב חשון Yosef Yitzchok ben Elozar Kalman, Dedicated by his children and siblings nieces and nephews, Tiefenbrun Family.
Class Summary:
This class was presented on Tuesday Parshas Vayetzei, 5 Kislev, 5783, November 29, 2022, at Bais Medrash Ohr Chaim in Monsey, NY.
The Midrash relates that when Jacob discovered the switch between the two sisters, he told Leah, “You are a liar, the daughter of a liar,” his way of saying that the apple did not fall far from the tree. “Why did you deceive me?”
Leah responded to Jacob’s accusation: Every craftsman creates students. Even a barber inspires students who learn from him the skill of cutting hair. My father and I, too, had a mentor who taught us how to deceive. Some time ago, Leah said, there was an old man, who wanted to bless his oldest son but was deceived by his younger son..
On a simple level, Leah was teaching Jacob the rule of “what goes around comes around.” He deceived his father, causing the blessing reserved for the older son to go instead to the younger son. What he did to his father and brother, was now done to him.
Scathing indeed, but deeply disturbing. Let’s assume for a moment Jacob was wrong in taking the blessings—how does that exonerate Leah and Laban in deceiving him? Can I deceive you in a business deal, because you deceived your brother in a deal seven years earlier?
Yet, a deeper reflection reveals a profounder reading of this narrative. The deeper dimension has been revealed by Rabbi Schneur Zalman of Liadi (1745-1812), founder of Chabad, known as the Alter Rebbe, in a discourse of 1811, during the last year of his life; his colleague, Rabbi Yisroel Hopstein, known as the Kozhnitzer Maggid (1737-1814), in his work Avodas Yisroel; and by the third Rebbe of Ger, known as the Sefas Emes (1847-1905). It was all brought together in an address by the Lubavitcher Rebbe, on Shabbos Parshas Toldos 5741, and Shabbos Vayishlach 5747 (1987).
The Avodas Yisroel and the Sefas Emes discuss the meaning of the actual Midrash. The Alter Rebbe and the Rebbe explore the inner soul of these ideas. Coupled together we have an outstanding tapestry woven together, with profound lessons for our lives today.
The class explores why Yaakov wept when he met Rachel? Why Leah wept when people said she would marry Eisav? Why was Yaakov given a name for holding on to his brother’s heel? And why do we define Eisav as wicked when he was already struggling in his mother’s womb, completely beyond his choice? We discover how Judaism views the struggles and traumas we need to contend with.
Women's Vayetzei Class
Rabbi YY Jacobson
- November 29, 2022
- |
- 5 Kislev 5783
- |
- 2920 views
לעילוי נשמת הרב החסיד יוסף יצחק בן אלעזר קלמן כ"ב חשון Yosef Yitzchok ben Elozar Kalman, Dedicated by his children and siblings nieces and nephews, Tiefenbrun Family.
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s -1 year ago
I just got through watching your amazing shiur from last week, with all the intricate interpersonal and spiritual involvements of our progenitors. I appreciate how you bring everything down to a very human level in your explanations. And that leaves me with a question. (As usual )
You spoke of how Yaakov questioned Leah and then Laban concerning the “ deception”. Is anything ever discussed about the possibility of Yaakov being upset with Rochel for giving Leah their secret password?
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shmuel -1 year ago
I loved your Shiur parshas vayatzai, in a shul to the ladies I think… saw it in torah anytime.
Want to add something incredible!!!
We find in this week’s sedra incident with dina and shechem.
Rashi says happened because like her mother she was a ‘go outer’ seems very unfair to compare them, leah went out to her husband? Not random man.
Furthermore, Chazal say different reason for episode because yaakov hid her from eisav when meeting in order that he would not want to marry her, and possibly she could have brought him to teshuva . This seems strange, and also how do the two reasons come together?
I think in light of your Shiur this is all answered!
Dina was Leah’s daughter in her avoida, leah conquered it, she went out for her husband dina fell because of it. However she was indeed like her mother the genuine match for eisav! And yes maybe had she married him she would have been able to give him the tools to deal with himself from her own experience being the same type of person as him!! But because Yaakov didn’t allow for that she ended up falling for that very reason because of that type of soul she was!!!!
I hope I’ve made myself understood.
Thanks so much for your delightful Shiurim!!!!!
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Kj -1 year ago
What Jacob and Esau did not deal with early on, left behind Esau in the end. So, is the moral of the story, in the really important things with G-d you get one chance and after that, you are left behind, never to enjoy intimacy and daily fellowship with G-d and a chance to walk with him in His plans?
In the garden, there were two ways.
G-d's plan one: daily intimacy with G-d and talking with Him about His plans and working with Him to execute those plans.
G-d's plan two: banishment from the intimate walk with G-d discussing with Him His plans and being a part of it all, and then, losing it all to walk alone in barrenness to till the ground, fulfilling your own plans and dreams, without any discussion, direction or protection from G-d.
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Kj -1 year ago
Are you sure this is a Scriptural title? What if G-d plans something different?
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Marc Lowen -1 year ago
I
I'm always astonished how the rabbi makes Torah so alive and meaningful and the hour just flashes by. I'm new to everthing and you make it so wonderful for people like me with a light backround In formal religious training. Thank you
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