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  Yochanan -10 days ago

  Using secular terms does not help

  Using secular terms does not help in addressing the issues of feelings which often originate in experiences of rejection in childhood. I have found gestalt type therapy, internal family systems along with Torah learning and meditation when davening has helped me. This is after many years getting sidetracked by religious problems with emotions stuck from historical or generational traumas or secular obsession with acting on feelings as long as they do not "appear" to harm anyone. Real bonding with other men has helped me recognise how the Torah prohibits acting out feelings which are natural but Hashem says do harm us in forming real relationships with others. All the relations prohibited in Torah are what happens naturally, including within family, due to the emotìonal connection. So do not be surprised by feelings for anyone. Dealing with people who act out their sexual needs with vulnerable, whether children or vulnerable adults is also "natural", given our animal soul. The first children were from brothers and sisters. So our godly soul balances those feelings and helps to understand their origin with the help of a mentor or therapist. My late Dad had unresolved trauma of sexual, emotional and physical abuse from childhood which he passed on to me. I refuse to let it spoil my life and have analysed, repressed and used religion for many years until I felt safe to face my pain and feel alive for the first time. People who act out sexually in any form are doing it , as Rabbi YY says in a talk with Eli Nash, out of a need to feel alive as Hashem is in the orgasm, the ultimate expression of creation. So a boy molested from early age, in my case ages 1 to 8, lost the sense of expressing LIFE. Now, after 35 years of searching, via religious people, psychiatric system and therapists, all with their own ideas and agendas, I am slowly growing thru thebpain and growing up, at long last in late adulthood, and feeling safe to feel attracted to women and accepting attraction to men as normal attraction to life in people of all kinds. As a boy I feared playing with other kids, because touch was so painful and I associated it with my Dad's sexual behavior. Now I do not fear affection or use masturbation or male porn to make myself feel male. I believe it is related to idol worship, as sex of all.kinds was used to worship pagan gods. Today people believe we are intellectually advanced to not believe in G-d or the gods, yet act out worshipping material things and sex.

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• S

  Sol -1 year ago

  Why are we on this path again?

  It is now 2023, and this discussion is 8 years old.  And what has happened since then, since it became imperative to welcome, support, reach out to and embrace any and all people, no matter what sin and idolatry they are involved in?  Not only is homosexuality and transgenderism being taught to children as young as kindergarten age, it has special protections and rights.  Thousands of children, especially girls, are getting hormone blockers, even surgeries, while they are still minors, because they believe they are the wrong gender. Men can walk into any women's private spaces, bathrooms, locker rooms, shelters with no consideration whatsoever of female's safety.  They don't even have to make any physical changes whatsoever, all they have to do is say, "I identify as a female", and all doors must open.  Pedophiles are being supported now, too, and just like the homosexuals, they also claim that they deserve "understanding" and "support", because they, too, were "born that way" and have no control over their attractions.  At the same time, there is a genuine move to start granting children "sexual rights"-not rights to decide if they want to obey Mom or Dad, or if they want to go to school and do homework, or if they want to brush their teeth or clean their rooms, because they are "too young" to make those decisions, right?  But they somehow are able to make decisions about sexual activity, as in if a pedophile approaches them, it is ok to get the child's "permission" because the child "has the right" to say "yes" to a pedophile. LGBT can proudly engage in lewd parades in Tel Aviv, and everyone is supposed to celebrate and love them for it, or they are "homophobic", "haters", "religious nuts". Israel is doing what it has done throughout history: caving to the pagan world to gain approval and to be liked, instead of standing on the strength of Torah and the protection of HaShem.  And when has that ever worked? Why do we offer such "compassion" and "sensitivity" for sexual perversion, talking about it constantly, explaining endlessly all the ways to treat deviants with kid gloves, but we don't do the same for thieves? Liars and murderers? Idolaters?  We are told to spit at hearing the name of JC, and not to set foot in a Christian church because its a place of idol worship, but when it comes to sexual perversion, its all "compassion" and "sensitivity".  Rabbi YY loves to quote "scientists" and "psychologists", for surely they know better than Torah, right?  Not a single thought given to the effect that deviant behavior has on a family, a community, a whole nation, only consideration for the deviant's desires. Who cares about the others, even the children, they destroy to satisfy their desires, we must think of them first, last and always. This will lead to what it always led to in the Tanakh-grievous, large scale and destructive repercussions, deserved by us, because once again, we chose to please ourselves instead of HaShem.  "My Laws are not too hard for you..."

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  • Y

    Yochanan -10 days ago

    Torah brings balance between Torah punishment and anti Torah secularism

    There needs to be a balance between keeping Torah and living according to the secular idea of acting on feelings if it does not appear to harm another. As a survivor of child sexual, physical and emotional abuse from a father who suppressed his sexual needs to appear normal, yet ended up anusing not only my Mother, but my brother and I. It took 3 decades of work on processing the profound trauma from agex1 to 8 sexually and physically and emotionally until his death when I was 25. It took 15 years to realise that psychiatrists also shut feelings of pain down using drugs and encourage sexual acting out including same sex feelings. Religious people use religion to do the same. Instead of reacting to the secular world view, I have found via trauma therapy to beging to feel the valid childhood emotional needs which are the root of adult sexual acting out, whether within marriage or same sex acting out on ones own or with another of same sex. Unless the unmet childhood emotional needs are confronted, I have found people will act them out despite years of efforts to repress them. Wives are at best ignored by men who are unable to provide the emotional intimate pleasure the Talmud says we should give to our wives before our own. Trauma begets trauma includimg in Jewish families who observe Torah when their observance cuts off feelings in order to keep Torah. 

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• א

  אדיב -3 years ago

  אודות הנושא של נטייה מינית חורגת (לדעת רוב העולם הדתי)

  תודה רבה לרב על עייונו הרגיש והחנון בנושא משיכה לאותו המין. כאחד האנשים שיש לו נטייה לכך מילדותי עד היום הזה רצוני לברר שאין נטייה זו מוגדרת אך ורק לתאוות המשגל אלא נכללת בה גם משיכה תחושתי עמוקה וטבעית שאינה קיימת בכלל כלפי המין השני.

  ולדעתי אפילו אם אפשר להתגבר על התשוקה ליחסי מין עם גברים אחרים אי אפשר לדכא או לכלות הצורך הפנימי לאהבה הדדית עם בני אותו המין. אי אפשר לאדם לרמות את עצמו שביכולתו להרגיש רגשי אהבה כלפי אשה. בשבילי דבר שכזה מאוד נמאס כגועל נפש שאין גדול ממנו.

  
  ועוד אינני יודע למה הקב"ה עושה ככה לברואיו, לתת בם נטייה טבעית עמוקה אותה הוא מגנה כתועבה חמורה שראויה להיענש בעונש מוות ע"י רגימה באבנים (סקילה). לדעתי אי אפשר לומר שהקב"ה אוהב אנשים כאלו ללא תנאים. איזה סוג אב היה מתעולל בילדיו באופן כה אכזרי?

  
  לאנשים כמוני אין ברירות הרבה: או לחיות חיי שקר או להישאר לבד במשך כל ימי חייו בלי אהבה ובלי רעות (דבר שהורס ומאבד את נשמת האדם) או לעזוב את הקהילה כמו שאני עשיתי.

  
  כשיש התנגשות יסודית בין תורה ומדע, לדעתי הפחותה, על כאו"א לברור לו את הדרך שנראה לו הכי טובה בשבילו שהיא ממילא ממעטת את הדרך השנית כי הרי בלתי אפשרי ליישב את שניהן.

  
  אני מודה לך שוב כי אתה שומע לקולות אנשים כמוני על אף שלפי התורה אנו ראוים להיגרש מכלל ישראל ולהישרף באשי גהינום לעולם בהיותנו כמו שה' עצמו בראנו ועשנו.

  בהצלחה.

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• NU

  NS"P UK -6 years ago

  Mindblowing

  This recording is the best i ever heard from R' YY so far!

  חזק ואמץ! 

  תמשיך ככה

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  • RP

    ruchel pollak -4 years ago

    The torah does speak about bad influence and bad friends 

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• E

  Elie -9 years ago

  to Yisroel, if you right click when on the 'download mp3' and go to 'save as' that should do it.

  Joe, I dont think you were paying attention to what Rabbi JAcobson was saying. He never said to cure homosexuality, but that those who struggle with it and want to live a 'straight' life and have a family and kids according to the Torah, can do so. They will still struggle with these feelings once in a while but dont have to act on it. they may never be cured but can cope and live full productive lives. Those who are not interested and will act on it, will do so regardless of what anyone says. I trust you are intelligent enough to be able to distinguish between the two ideas.

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Rabbi YY Jacobson

• February 24, 2015
• |
• 5 Adar 5775
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• 5150 views