TheYeshiva.net - Rabbi YY Jacobson

Basics of Emunah #22: "I Hate Davening" -- Part 1

What Is Prayer? Why Do We Pray?

1 hr 49 min

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Class Summary:

The Emunah Series with Rabbi YY Jacobson has resumed, and continues every Thursday evening (save holidays), at 20 Forshay Road, Monsey, NY, followed by Q and A. For Men, Women and Teenagers (separate seating). You can send questions in advance by email to [email protected] or submit written questions before or during the presentation. Anonymity of the questioners will be respected. Hot food will be served. No admission fee.

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M
Mayer -6 years ago
I liked the idea of last week's שיעור, but after thinking about it I became a little confused. Maybe you could clarify my confusion.

There are different views we constantly hear from speakers on these topics:

1) אמונה

2) בטחון

3) תפילה

4) צדקה

5) חסד

What we learn about אמונה אין בטחון is, that we have to believe and be in a state of mind that everything is taken care of for us and stop worrying about life. But then when we come to תפילה we learn that השם wants you to ask and beg, and the more you do it the closer you get to him.(try to ask for something from your wife for 10 years and she keeps ignoring you) how do you feel then? But is this the best place that I could ever be?

How can I ask השם he should do differently? But we do it anyway and it doesn't help, so that's when it gets depressing. We do everything we're supposed to do and nothing changes. It bothered me for quite some time, and after asking many people they all have the same answer, בטחון בטחון... I have to be so sure that this is where השם wants me to be, BUT WHY? What's my תחלית? so now I'm working on acceptance. Accepting that is how השם wants it to be for my own good... BUT I stopped thriving because I have no goal and no desire to get anywhere.

Last week you explained the idea that davening is an opportunity to talk to השם, which to me means that it's basically a therapy session. When people go to therapy, all they hear is how do you feel? how does it make you feel? what do you think when you do this? what do you think when you do that? and basically doing a lot of talking. There is something powerful by bringing out the inner feelings, and there is no difference when I talk to השם or I talk to myself because every situation I'm going through I could talk to myself and basically pretend that I'm the therapist, because when somebody else looks at my life it looks different..

Which brings me back to the question what's תפילה really for? I want h to have בטחון based on a fact not based on a belief..

I hope you can shed some light on this as I value your Insight and perspective.
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- RY
  Rabbi YY -6 years ago
  1. When we daven, Hashem answers in different ways. Sometimes the answer is: Yes, or no; or not yet; or I have something much better for you.
  
  2. We daven, but all davening must come along with work and action. If I am doing the same thing over and over and over, nothing might change. So we need to look into our lives and see if we are perhaps stuck.
  
  3. Bitachon means trust. We trust that Hashem holds our hands and helps us in the WORK WE NEED TO DO TO ENHANCE OUR LIVES. We need to take responsability for our lives and be accountable to ourselves and others. Every situation we are in gives us an opportunity grow, learn lessons, and bring some awareness and light into it, and move on from it. Somtimes, these situations are painful, and we do not understand why; that is fine and mormal. But we must not despair and think that we have been abondoned and all is hopeless.
  
  4. Sometimes, when Hashem "says" no, we need to look for another route in our life. We can't always remain stuck in that same mode and orbit if the same requests.
  
  I hope this helps a bit.
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CY
Chaya Y -6 years ago
Thank you so much for validating my experience of davening. When you were explaining what Yaakov's davening was like rather than that of Channah, I heard my experience. I have a friend who used to tell me what I should feel when I davened. She said I should feel burning in my heart. I never felt that and always had inner doubts about whether my davening was as good as it could be.

I totally relate to what you describe when you talk about connecting to the creation. A teacher of mine once said that it was worthwhile for a woman to spend 5 minutes connecting to the 4 kingdoms (inanimate, plant, animal and human), even if she didn't do much more than Shema and Shemoneh Esrei. I do have time to daven and I experience the connection more and more each day as I daven. I feel peaceful and loved by Hashem and connected to the rest of the world.

Thank you again for validating my experience.

May Hashem bless you with only good in a revealed way. My only criticism of your lectures is that they are so long I need to watch them really early in order to be able to settle down and get to bed.

With brochas for a Kosher and Freiliche Pesach

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Anonymous -6 years ago
An unfortunate reality these days
http://forums.dansdeals.com/index.php?topic=89626.0
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N
Nik -6 years ago
Love the classes and especially the Emunah series.
I have one request which I think would be supported by several other "Chasidim". ...
Could you possibly spend a few minutes at the end of each shiur (especially the longer ones) reviewing what was discussed ideally in a manner conducive for "bite-size action steps" to implement the ideas you so eloquently have conveyed?
I humbly think this would be so very helpful in concretizing the transformative messages you enrich us all with.
Yasher Koach,
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- M
  Miriam -6 years ago
  Yes please! These are powerful classes, especially on Emuna.
  
  Thank you so much
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T
Terry -6 years ago
Basics of Emunah # 22
Dear Rabbi Jacobson, First of all I so admire your courage and willingness to address questions that are not easy and which often are not admitted to..how blessed folks are to have you as a teacher.

As for this lecture...God and prayer have always been an important part of my thought and I have studied and read a great deal about prayer...but I have NEVER heard or read such an inspiring exposition of what it means to daven with the words of the siddur...this was absolutely phenomenal and I thank you for this presentation

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