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If You Love G-D You Got to Love Your (True) Self

Why Do So Many People Dislike Themselves?

1 hr 13 min

Class Summary:

This class was presented on Monday, Parshas Korach, 28 Sivan, 5779, Jul 1, 2019 at the Ohr Chaim Shul, Monsey, NY 

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  • RA

    Reb Aharon -5 years ago

    Shiur summary

    M Jly 1 ’19  


    15 lines fr bottom – little text today

    “Ma’a’lay kal almin” – the first love

    ”Hu atzmo hachayis sh’b’kirbo”

              “He Himself is the life that is within”

              “V’atah chayas es kulam”   “You give life to everything”

    Who I am.           Love of self is needed for true love of G-d.

    Not talking about ego/yaishish love, rather the love of the ultimate self,

    Love for a suit, a car, a watch - exterior loves are a substitute for true love of self, to fill a void – a substitute of real self

    Love of ultimate self, true self, love life                   Truth of life = divine

    People (& all creations) are each unique, different from each other

    ***Moshe:  “L’ahavas Hashem Elokecha ki hu hayecha”


    A workoholic says:  “I never felt needed.   I’m gonna force my whole company to need me.”    He does this to fill a huge void    He felt valueless.   Now “I’m indispensable in the company”.       A problem when filling needs comes fr w/out rather than fr w/in.

    Climb the corporate ladder!  Song by Boston (music group) called Peace of Mind about the futility and hollowness of climbing the company ladder and competition and really only wanting peace of mind.


     Russia.    Hitler murdered bodies.      Russians destroyed inside.   beyond mind control – systemized method of destruction

    12 Tammuz 1927  Chag hageulah of R Rayatz freed fr Russians  under Stalin


    bitul -  aligning w/the true self, one w/Divine    not ego, narcissism, separation,                  don't substitute self w/a fake self     

    Make bitul what is toxic, alien, what separates

    Bitul to HaShem – a conduit to infinity, gives one infinite power 

    Halacha about milk and meat mixtures:   bitul – “nullification”                                                     1drop of milk in 60 or more drops of meat soup    Milk becomes bitul to the meat – the whole soup is kosher            Taz & Rosh makloches:  Rosh:  the milk becomes not milk anymore, becomes completely changed/ transformed - not just overwhelmed, rather it becomes part of the soup, the original quality & essence of the milk is gone                                 Rosh:  “ha’issur l’yos nefach k’mos ha heter” –                                                                            “the forbidden (milk) is changed into the meat soup”

    Bitul to Hashem – become part of Hashem                                                                                       more powerful, conduit for infinite, gives infinite power                                                       Real bitul – powerful self-development and actualization


    “Shaliach k’moso”      “shaliach shel adam haElyon k’moso”    “the messenger of a person is like that person”.     We are servants/messengers of HaShem so you’re like Him now                       “the eved (servant) of the king is a king.“                                                                                see Rashi end B’haalaocsechea “eved melech melech”  

    Michael Savage on radio:  “I heard something from the Lubavitcher.  This is a man of G-d.”        He quoted the Rebbe: “When you were born was the day G-d said the world is incomplete       w/o you.”    Savage:  “If people would think about this and believe this, they would feel          so good.” 

    Mishna Sanh:  consider as if the whole world was created for you.

    “M’sh’li nivrah haolam”   “for me the world was created “                                                             Not to take advantage/exploit     rather to see others as a mirror/reflection of one’s self


    Man came to therapist, he has mom in mind all the time, sees and hears her in every                 person, his whole life, every word is his mother, develops fits of rages from frustration,          he dreams also only of his mom.   Doc asks:  ”Describe to me last nite”.   “My mom was complaining and demanding of me in my dream.  Finally in the morning my mom wakes me up.  She says I got to go to the therapist.  I wanted to eat something, a bite to eat, so I run out w/a cup of water.”      Doc:   “I don’t understand, that’s called breakfast?”!!

    A person is a shaliach of Hashem.  Divine light manifesting in this world.                                           Niggun:    “avdu d’kudshu d’brich Hu”


    R Engel     the 2 greatest days of one’s life is the day he was born and the day he figures out why he was born

    And when one can embrace it.  Must acknowledge it and embrace and go with it.   Outside of comfort zone

    43:30    “Hu atmos hachiyus sh’bo”  --  Hashem Himself is the life that is within one”                     

    Maahlay” kol almin – the way Hashem becomes/defines every aspect of the world, Hashem is the engine of the universe and of each being,                 m’malay – HaShem fills all  

    We’re all connected and all different/unique – part of the creation – my part of the engine is a bit diff than your part            2 snowflakes not alike –                                                            Details – important – small diff between man and monkey DNA.                                          G-d is in the details  -  email w/out a dot won’t go – computer programmer each dot is so important      From the Ultimate Programmer’s perspective, each small detail is infinitely important.

    V’atem chayos es kulam”

    Every creation is unique w/unique fx, design, purpose

    BST:   a leaf turns by hashkacha pratis    part of the plan      Indispensable to whole cosmic plan           Not a mistake, a reason for everything


    Lub Reb:    Mashal to a “guta balabusta” ie an exceptional homekeeper and mother – nothing out of place, nothing not useful, w/o purpose/function, nothing random, put a screw away for 6 years later

           Even more – every detail is part of & indispensable to the working of the house, gives shelamis to the whole house  -  the  house is all one thing  - shows women’s strength                                   women – spaghetti          man – waffle     

    Gives dignity to the personal travel/journey one has taken – knowing that all that’s happened is supposed to be, even if there’s a storm blowing the leaf, that storm is what’s supposed to be.

    49   One’s “modeh ani” in the morning really matters.  don't think it doesn't.


    Sh’ar Yichud v’Emunah – Sefer yetzira – words and letters create the world – programmed thru 10 mamaaros/sefiros.  Those 22 letters are the genesis of diversity                                      Diversity of creation, my life and your life and yours are one but also diff

    Rooted in m’mahlay – love of Hashem that’s rooted in G-d becoming core of me, core of you, your engine, heartbeat, chiyus, life, vitality, content, form, functionality, design and spiritual core and chemistry of each nivrah (created being).                                                                    Never creates trauma.

    The validation of all creation as a symphony of HaShem


    Nefesh Elokis and nefesh behamis  - all part of the life force                                            Depends on how much each is concealed and revealed in each person but they are both there.   

    Like DNA, cells, etc we know about more now, but years ago weren’t discovered or                          revealed or known            Crick & Watson discovered DNA

    Need a lot of avodah to bring out the life force awareness, that’s why we learn.  Need mircroscopes, telescopes to see.  Spirituality takes awareness, contemplation, concentration and deep  thought to grow to be able to think in such terms

    Love of G-d as a love of self   -   m’maahlay

    57 45

    Ahavas Hashem & self dignity is unfortunately a contradiction to many.

    Moshe Rabbenu:  L’ahavas Hashem Elokecha ki hu hayecha”                                                            Simply learn as “Hashem gives us our life” - cuz he’s the One who takes care of us                     we better love him, my tatty’s bigger than yours,

              But this attitude doesn’t create real love, at best can create dread – you’re bigger                         than me so I have to be intimidated       Sometimes rel’ship w/shver (father in                       law) or Ta, He’s your life (depend on him for $) so you got to be scared

              Rather learn as “Hashem is our life” – that is yourself – self & G-d are not 2 separate things – Lik Torah uses “ain sof” to call G-d – “all encompassing reality” – not some being out there w/all the power, not separate, rather plugged in.

    “G-d leave me alone” – young people, want independence, live your dreams, self actualize – “G-d why are You mixing in w/me?” Like going to a nutritionist who says “let me tell you about how your body works.”   Man says back:  “Tell the genes, organs, etc not to interfere w/my life, tell my brain to stop mixing in.”!!    Doesn’t work that way.      Tell “G-d not to mix in to my life“ -  can’t do it.  HaShem is my life.

    If self-actualize is done for Hashem then it’s good, not for ego.

    Fridge can’t tell electricity not to mix in to its identity – life of fridge is not outside of the electricity.  Can’t pull the plug on the fridge and have it still work.

     Awareness of this means one is “plugged in”!


    B’shalach:  Yidden ask 2 wks after yam suf: “Ha’yaish Hashem b’kirbanu im ayin”?    “Is H within us or not? “   How could they ask?  So soon after so many miracles?  B’kirbanu – whole diff experience

    Rabbi’s vort spoken before – yaish   ayin


    Some struggle w/it. Deny that we have this deveikus w/Hashem.  Means responsibility, I’m never a victim, life is good, I’m a free person.  Not easy for some people – nothing to complain about, some want to say: “the system made me problems and is not good“

    Jail – people get out and suicide – can’t handle the freedom.  R Rubashkin:  people said he needs therapy.   “You think I need?”  No, people in general may need therapy.   He never went into ‘prison’.   “A place many people call prison” – 8 yrs I fought against that feeling that I was in prison, I’m not going to call it prison now.                                                       Is Hashem also in prison?   No.   So, I was w/HaShem.”

    Amal gadol – to gain this deveikus


    Mistakes:  can do tschuva

    People are not in prison cuz they stole, rather cuz they got caught – why did they get caught?

    Sassover:  people know the world, HaShem knows the universe   We can’t understand it. 

    R Jacobson’s birthday tomorrow 29th  Sivan

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  • M

    Moshe -5 years ago

    Some love themselves too much, narcissists; others hate themselves and cover up. How to be balanced?

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  • M

    Moshe -5 years ago

    If your day of birth is Hashem saying the world couldn't go on without you, does this imply that the  day if petira means the world doesnt need you  anymore? Or maybe  your shlichus is accomplished?

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Likkutei Torah Behaaloscha Mekosheish Eitzim #4

Rabbi YY Jacobson

  • July 1, 2019
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  • 28 Sivan 5779
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