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Those Who Sow With Tears: A Prayer of an Abuse Victim

Shir HaMa'alos Beshuv Hashem: A Little Seedling Nurtured by Tears

1 hr 42 min

Class Summary:

This lecture was presented on Tisha B'Av, 5779, Sunday, August 11, 2019, at 11 Forshay Road, Monsey, NY.

Sometimes when you're in a dark place you think you've been buried, but you've actually been planted.


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  • Anonymous -6 months ago


    I know how this boy feels, and his email is so powerfull. Hashem loves us, He does, and we cant understand but we still need comfort, and a listening ear, because as much as we learn to heal, and go on, there is always this child in me who is missing a healthy, stable, loving, foundation

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  • MS

    Mendy Schochet -4 years ago

    Samuel fine

    This shiur reminded me of a similar one given by rabbi David forhman from Aleph beta


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  • A

    Audrey -4 years ago

    Dear M. Rabbi Jacobson
    I just watched your video about the text that you had read about the boy who has been Abused....
    Thank you SO much for your speech and what you did and said.
    It happened to me too when I was young (between 4 and 10 years old by my father's cousin), and hearing a man, especially a Rabbi acknowledging the fact that it's pain, not drama at all to mourn all of this... is deeply relieving...
    I would have finish by,
    "I wish I could Love myself as much as Hashem does..."
    Thank you.
    Our community needs also to speak up about those subjects and clean our own pervert system...
    You are now one of the resourceful person in my path.
    Thank you.

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  • C

    Chaya -4 years ago

    I heard your shiur about the boy who wrote his personal tishabav letter. And I want to say that unless you have been the victim of abuse or a massive nisayon you will never understand. So how do you Rabbi YY say you understand he’s not being dramatic ? You can’t possibly feel the feelings we deal with. So if it’s because you c'v had the same happen to you, I want to tell you that I daven you should recover fully. I’m still on my journey of pain. And your shiurim are a huge help. And people think I just have classic depression and have no idea what is really happening. But that boy’s letter said it alll. I hope it continues to strengthen people.

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  • M

    Miriam -4 years ago

    Dear Rabbi Jacobson,
    While listening to your shiur yesterday about Those Who Sow in Tears Will Reap in Joy, and your description of אפיקים, I was reminded of this video i'd seen that portrays it beautifully. Here is the link if you haven't seen it before. 
    Kol tuv

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  • C

    Chaim -4 years ago

    Sholom Aleichem Rabbi Jacobson shlita,

    I was so glad to attend your tisha b’av shiur. As I think I mentioned when Reb Moshe Isenberg introduced me to you, I attended your yud tes kislev farbrengen with a bunch of friends back in November, but, since there was quite a crowd, I never got a chance to meet you then, so I am glad I did today.

    I always love your shiurim and today’s was amazing. I was told by a friend who came with me that she could not stop crying the whole time. She asked me to pass on her thanks to you and to tell you that every word you said resonated deeply with her. I think you’ve got yourself a new fan.

    I just wanted to write to thank you and say how much I enjoyed it. Of course, I could have watched online, as I do every day, but in person is just so much better. Besides, it distracted me from thinking about how incredibly hungry I was.

    While many shiurim on tisha b’av are depressing and maudlin in nature (as they should be on this day), yours went above and beyond, as it focused more on the hope for the future that tisha b’av represents and, focusing on the dreams of the future rather than the nightmares of the past, focusing on that belief that am Yisrael Chai, that we have not yet had closure, as Yakov did with Yosef when he refused to be comforted, was the thing which, I think, made your shiur rise above all others.

    As always, it is a great zechus to hear you speak.

    See you, at least virtually, for daily Chassidus and gemarah in a few hours.

    Yasher koach again for an amazing tisha b’av.

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  • Anonymous -4 years ago


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  • RA

    Reb Aharon -4 years ago

    Tell that young man that I love him.

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  • R

    Rikee -4 years ago

    I just  to your shiur on the 9 steps.

    Thank you, so inspiring!

    I have the two books by your brother Simon on the spiritual counting of the omer (49 days) as well the

    Book called 60 days beginning with elul. Has a book been written yet called  ‘ the nine days’ ? your reference to the nine days coinciding with the 9 steps (or characteristics) would be an amazing book. Hope I’m not in any way imposing on you, but it’s just a suggestion. These types of books really help to appreciate ONE DAY AT A TIME. I also listened to your shiur on Tisha B’Av. Most touching was the individual Tisha bav poem which you received the night before..i pray that young boy can live a happy ‘ normal’ life. Thank you again for sharing.

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  • E

    Elie -4 years ago

    Beautiful shiur on Tisha B'av.
    Maybe you can say that HALOCH YELECH UVACHOH , that UVACHOH can also be read as UBA KOH, as in the KOH AMAR BINCHA YOSEF, in VAYIGASH 45:9ת where the whole purpose of the sale/ separation is revealed to Yakkov. 
    That is to say that Yosef says i was always going [double lashon connotes not only the simple meaning but the deeper meaning as well] to the ultimate purpose which will be revealed in the right moment as ordained by Hashem.

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  • A

    Avrum -4 years ago

    Rabbi YY,

    Thank you for today's tisha buv shiur. Was prob the first time I hear the term "codependent" in a Torah shuir and outside of a therapy session or fellowship meeting.

    Can you please send the "mourning" list you read from the email you received. I would like to add it to my kinus.

    Hearing you read the list and going on and on really hit home...hearing what is missing without ever really knowing it was very emotional

    Want to thank you again

    And Zola shoin zine der geula!

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  • S

    Sharon -4 years ago

    Thank you for an amazing, insightful Shiur yesterday.
    Bringing to your attention Tehilim chapter 18:
    י״ח:טז ״ויראו אפיקי מים....״
    One more place to note.
    Can we say regarding ״אנכי לא ידעתי״: The word ״אנכי״ refers to Hashem since HE is the first אנכי in the Torah ?
    Kol Tuv

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  • R

    Ralph -4 years ago

    Shkouch for the drasha today. The crazy part about the whole abuse debate is: Bh I know nothing about it but I used to think that everyone understood how terrible it is; question is exactly how to deal with it.
    But I recently had a conversation with someone who said even if the abuse is true who says it really destructive and what gives you a right to do anything to the abuser.
    Crazy! maybe we need education on this.

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  • M

    Martin -4 years ago

    Listened in today’s lecture, it touched my mind and my soul! THANK YOU!!!!!!

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  • S

    Shimon -4 years ago

    Hi Rabbi Jacobson
    I was inspired and  enjoyed your shiur today. I have been going over  kapital 126 in Tehilim with the insights that you have given and have enjoyed the connections between the geulas yosef and this kapitel. I was wondering the connections that you have eluded too between yosef, yakov and this kapital are these your thoughts or have you seen them brought down as well by other mefarshim. I see the classic mefarshim don't mention these connections but the words do scream out a connection. 
    Thank you again for this inspiring shiur and please pass on to the boy who wrote that email that i found that email as well very inspiring (a truly pure and deep soul)as well as I think many others have as well and it should be a zachus for him to have a refuah hanefesh and refuse haguf.
    All the best

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  • N

    Nuchem -4 years ago

    ואביו שמר את הדבר

    Yesterday at your class I taught the following.
    ואביו שמר את הדבר
    ואביו and because of his Father 
    שמר את הדבר Yosef was able to protect his “Dovor” his special part of his body!

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  • M

    Moshe -4 years ago

    I have often driven from Yerushslayim to Eilat through the Negev, 

    2 ways, first down the #90 east side of Israel or second, down the middle from Berrsheva through Mitzpe Rumon, Israel's amazing "grand canyon". Both go through the Negev. On the highways in little dips  are markers on the side with numbers. The numbers show how deep water is and therefore whether or not to proceed. 

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  • RD

    Ron Decker -4 years ago

    The size of a Mustard Seed...

    I am a Gentile (USA) and am so extremely impressed how G-d has Blessed this dear woman, Shoshanah, and her family/decsendants. My heart ♥️♥️♥️ is truly blessed. 

    Bless and Praise Hashem .... !!!♥️🇮🇱♥️🇮🇱♥️🇮🇱

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  • Anonymous -4 years ago

    Thanks for transelating everything to English.

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  • RL

    Rachel Leah -4 years ago

    Inner tisha bav

    So encouraging and uplifting

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  • P

    Pinchus -4 years ago

    Dear Rabbi Jacobson Shlita,

    As I sit here in Yerushaliyim the phrase "have your cake and eat it too" comes to a new light: my wife and I can actually sit here in Yerushalayim, eat our cake (at 9:30p.m. local time) and listen to Rabbi YY !!!
    Kol Tuv and Hatzlocho. 
    Looking forward,

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    • Anonymous -4 years ago

      Me too!

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      • Anonymous -4 years ago

        ie ditto

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  • I

    Isaac -4 years ago


    looking forward, thanks so much

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Tishah B'Av 5779

Rabbi YY Jacobson

  • August 11, 2019
  • |
  • 10 Av 5779
  • |

Dedicated by Peter Brown, פִּנְחָס בֶּן יַעַקׁב פֵּסַח

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