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Why Did Yaakov Get Angry at his Beloved Wife Rachel? 4 Perspectives

How the Cracks In Your Life Can Become the Gate of Heaven

Class Summary:

The opening of the thirtieth chapter of Genesis relates a small but disturbing scene. The infertile Rachel tells her husband: "Give me children, and if not, I am dead." And Jacob became angry with Rachel, and he said, "Am I instead of God, Who has withheld from you the fruit of the womb?"

Jacob’s response seems painfully insensitive and uncharacteristic of their affectionate bond. He is in love with Rachel. Any experienced and loving husband knows that even in a good day when your wife conveys an emotion about something eating up on her, the last think you do is get angry at her! What she wants from you is an attentive ear and a receptive heart. That itself makes her feel better. Certainly if she is expressing her pain over a real and deep wound. Jacob’s response is baffling and disturbing.

Today we will present four approaches—one from the Midrash, the second from a medieval Jewish philosopher, the third from the Munkatcher Rebbe, and the fourth from the Ramban and the world of Chassidus.

The Midrash opens up its commentary on the portion of Vayeitzei by attributing Psalm 121 to Jacob on his journey to Haran. Psalms 121 begins with a description of a distraught narrator, who wonders “from where will my salvation come?” Jacob despaired. The Midrash says: Jacob said to himself: “What?! I will give up hope from my Creator? I will never give up hope! My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth!”

But what does this mean? Did Jacob really give up hope? Just because he was destitute and penniless, he fell into such despair? This is the man who would carry on the covenant of Abraham and Isaac—did he really forget about G-d? Also, his words seem repetitious: “What? I will give up hope from my Creator? I will never give up hope!” He should have just said: “I will never give up hope!” Why the question and the answer?

It was the great Chassidic master, the Chidushei Harim (Rabbi Yitzchak Meir Alter, the first Gerer Rebbe, (1799 - 1866)), who gave a stunning explanation. I would venture to add that knowing the life story of this man makes the explanation far more poignant.

This women's class was presented on Tuesday, Parshas Vayetzei, 5 Kislev, 5780, December 3, 2019 at the Ohr Chaim Shul, Monsey, NY

Please leave your comment below!

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    Efraim -4 years ago

    היונגער רבי הרה"ק ר' אשר ז"ל שלא היה לו ילדים הרבה שנים הגיע לאביו האלטער רבי הרה"ק ר' אהרן ז"ל יום אחד ואמר לו שהוא הוושע (ער איז א געהאלפינער) והסביר את עצמו, היום הפרופסור אמר לו "כמו שיצמח שיער בכף היד כך יוולד לך ילדים", ואם כך נשאר הכל רק לה' והכל יכול.
    ואכן כך נולד הפראנקפוטער הרה"ק ר' ישראל ז"ל 
     
     
     
     
     
     

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  • Y

    Yehuda -4 years ago

    Thanks for your wonderful shiurim, so many of your messages hit home, constantly reminding me / us of my / our potential / and the strength we have to dictate our lives in the best way possible,
    For a long time already I've been feeling and also sharing with those around me that one of the most rewarding moments of my / our day / lives is - when experiencing a tough time be it financial / emotional / physical or any other challenge, I do all my hishtadlus to deal with the issue but after all said and done I hit a dead end, that realization when I look up at Hashem and say ''Hashem I've done my Hishtadlus, I'm letting go and I totally trust you will take care of me'' , that 5 sec mental note / realization is a wow moment, almost can feel the boulder roll off my back,
    I listened to your shiur this week and it hit home big time, was very special to hear you articulate it so superbly the feelings I've been having.
    I would appreciate if you could send me the source of that Sfas Emes / any other sources you have on this note

    With much respect
    Good Shabbos,

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  • S

    Shmuel -4 years ago

    Just wanted to let you know that when you mentioned the maisah re Rubashkin, youu didn't have the kavannah, but you helped me figure out tiche from the Janis Joplin song, Me and Bobby Magee, "Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose", and it always bothered me. Thanks!

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  • G

    Gila -4 years ago

    Thank you for the shiur on Parshas Vayeitzei. I was wondering why you
    discussed whether or not Yaakov Avinu actually spoke to Hashem or intuited an answer from the flow of Divine energy within him. Yaakov Avinu was a navi. One of the ikrei emunah is that Hashem communicated with the neviim to give us guidance. The way I understood what I learned is that this is actual communication, not just finely-tuned intuition. If it says Hashem spoke to him, why can't we just understand that literally?

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  • M

    Monica -4 years ago

    I am still euphoric and under the spell of today’s most uplifting, soul-stirring and hartzige shiur.  The diamond studded trees lining the streets on the way home seemed to be the perfect frame for this jewel of a class.

    Our lives are just so enriched. I am trying to think back to what life was like before we were zoche to these shiurim...

    Thank you, thank you, thank you.  Ashreinu ma Tov chelkeinu.

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Women's Vayetzei Class

Rabbi YY Jacobson

  • December 3, 2019
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  • 5 Kislev 5780
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  • 3536 views

Dedicated by the Sani family, in the loving memory and soul elevation of Rachamin ben Aziz Sani halevi (our father) on his Yahrzeit, 6 Cheshvan. May his soul be at rest in Gan Eden. And in honor of the Sani family and friends, for health, prosperity and success

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