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Don't Lie to Your Children's about Elijah's Cup

How to See Elijah the Prophet on the Night of Pesach

Class Summary:

At the end of Rabbi YY Jacobson's morning Chassidus class on Tuesday, 11 Nissan, 5779, April 17, 2019, one of the students asked if it is correct to tell your children that the prophet Elijah comes and physically drinks the wine in "the cup of Elijah." Rabbi Jacobson's response is presented in this video.


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  • RS

    Ruth Symmons -5 years ago

    Rabbi is correct - do not lie to children  

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  • Anonymous -5 years ago

    הכנסה לחדר

    How would you reconcile the idea of not telling children things which aren't really true, with the minhag chabad, instituted by the Alter Rebbe to throw candies on the child by his הכנסה לחדר and say that it was מלאך מיכאל throwing them? 

    (The Rebbe explains in Sichos that it actually is true, because the one throwing is the messager of מלאך מיכאל, so accordingly the question would be a little different: Why is it lying to tell a child that אליהו הנביא came and drank? Why not consider the father a Shliach for אליהו?)

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  • Anonymous -5 years ago

    Is it a lie??

    Rabbi Jacobson, thank you for your great shiurim. I totally agree that you shouldn't lie to your childeren (as this father in the story did). I also understand that the are different "Bechines" in this. But there is a story of one of the Belze Rabbis that when he was a child he asked his father by "Shefoych Chamuscu" who that yid is, and his father made him be quite. He saw Eliyahu Hanuvy. Besides, there's a Minhug in some places to pour from the Kois Shel Eliyahu into the other Koises, I belive it's because it's his Shirayim.


    Thank you.

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  • G

    Gil -5 years ago

    He Comes... But You Need Eyes.

    Firstly, Rabbi Jacobson, may I thank you for your fantastic shiurim.  In fact I cannot thank you enough. May Hashem bless you without end with everything good to 120 beH.

    I just finished listening to your shiur about not lying to children about Eliyahu haNavi.
    Please let me tell our experience concerning the berit milah for our first son, over 41 years ago. At that time we were living in UK part of a very frum but tiny sefardi kehilla, mostly Moroccan; a few like my husband from Gibraltar. I am ashkenazi-born.
    A very special lady originally from Morocco (and whom btw mekubalim would visit for a beracha) came to our son's milah. As she approached the entrance she stopped and would not enter: "He is not here". My husband assured her that the baby, mohel and sandak were all inside. 
    After a short time, she said "now he has come, Eliyahu haNavi". And she went inside.
    After this I have no doubt whatsoever that Eliyahu haNavi comes to every milah! 
    Wishing you a חג כשר ושמח; and קח to continue your vital vital work. It is so much appreciated.

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  • A

    Avigayil -5 years ago

    This is how you speak to your child with so much truth and depth

    When he was eight years old, the Frierdiker Rebbe recorded the events of the previous Pesach in his diary: "Erev Pesach, after teaching me the Seder Korban Pesach, my father said, 'Tonight, Eliyahu HaNavi is coming to all the Yiddishe homes, and the great tzaddikim will be privileged to see him. Although in Shamayim all neshamos are able to see everything, once they are vested in a body they only feel things. In the Holy Tongue, the word mishna(משנה) has the same letters as neshama (נשמה).Start to review the mishnayos of Mesechta Pesachim eight times, and when you come with me to open the door for Eliyahu HaNavi, review the mesechta a ninth time....' "

    (ספר המאמרים תשי"א ע' 296)

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  • RA

    Reb Aharon -5 years ago

    Truth & Kos Shel Eliyahu

    Tatty told his young son that Eliyahu HaNavi comes each year by seder and drinks the wine and cleans the cup.  Boy stayed up all night to see Eliyahu, instead saw his tatty doing it – this shattered the boy’s whole emunah – ie it’s all not true, yetzias mitzrayim, krias yam suf, …

    We have to be real careful and truthful when we speak to our children.


    Why called “kos shel Eliyahu”? 

    Vilna Gaon – argument in Gemorah re: R Tarfon says we should have a fifth cup & others say no – so we have a fifth cup but don’t make a  brocha on it - due to the questions Eliyahu, who will eventually answer all the taikus/unresolved issues, comes.


    From Shulchan Aruch HaRav Hilchos Pesach siman 480

                Rema:  Open door to show we are not afraid – it is a night of guarding – to transcend fear – this is part of the emunah that will bring moshiach – and if Eliyahu will come we want to be able to leave quickly                                   fr. Sefer Hamanhig and Chok Yaakov and Magen Avraham

               But where there’s ganavim don’t rely on miracles so keep the door closed.

    For healing (in many diff ways) one must open themselves up then things happen, remove the blockages, open up to possibilities


    Why Eliyahu comes to each seder?    

    1. Students of Maharil – because of emunah -  we hope/expect he will  come so we show anticipation by putting out a cup for him – and if he does come he will  need a cup
    1. R. Moshe Hagiz (acharon) in sefer Birchas Eliyahu –

                   Pirkei d’Reb Eleizer perek 29:   Eliyahu haNavi said about the 400 prophets who were worshipping avodah zarah  “I am the only one who is jealous/cares about HaShem” – ie that they had abandoned the bris.  HaShem: “That is not true. You will testify to the truth.  You must come to every bris  and also to the seder (only kosher mahled Jews are invited cuz have to eat the korban Pesach) to show that the Jews did and do keep the bris!

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  • RA

    Reb Aharon -5 years ago

    Look for the Good in Each Jew

    I sincerely wish all Yidden a Pesach where we truly have geulah in a ruchniyus and gashmiyus manner.  Everyone should enjoy family, time to delve into the Torah, good food, Hallel, excursions to nice places, etc. etc.  

    I saw in the Hagadah of Shlomo Carlebach, t’zal a Torah from Belz that Shlomo would share on Pesach.   

    By one of the four sons, the rashah (the “bad one”) the advice how to answer him is "hakah es shinav" literally meaning  “knock out his teeth”.  How could it be?  To hit him?  A yiddisha neshama?  A sweet young boy, maybe a teenager, maybe even someone quite older who appears to be acting like a rasha  -  to knock out his teeth cuz he's acting like a rasha?  These days we’ve certainly seen it’s not going to help him to have a greater love for Torah and develop a closer relationship with HaShem.  It’ll probably drive him away more!            

    The Belzer Rebbe (someone told me he saw it in Birchas Avraham, a Satmar sefer) answers:  the letters of the word “rasha” are ‘reish’ ‘shin’ & ‘ayin’.  The first letter ‘reish’ and the last letter ‘ayin’ spell "rah" (bad).  The ‘rah’ (bad) is only on the outside of the word, it's only ‘chitzonios’ – external stuff, fluff, not so integral to this person, not the main part of the rasha, of the child (or adult!) who is acting like a rasha.      

    The ‘shin’ is the middle of the rasha, the real “penimius” (inner, essential) main part of this person.  The ‘shin’ has 3 crowns on it when written in a sefer Torah. The crowns symbolize the avos Avraham, Yitzhak and Yaakov.  Inside this child is all the sheinah, beautiful, positive  midos of the avos - chesed, gevurah , emes, ahavah – essentially the sefirahs that we work on to bring into our lives more fully during the counting of the omer.  Deep inside, hidden, maybe suppressed and buried in this “rasha” waiting to come out.   The inheritance of each Yid inside are the midos of the avos and imos.    

    So when the Hagadah says “hakah es shinav” it means to "knock out" really to bring out, to cultivate, to nurture, to expand out the pure, inner "shin" of the child -- the beautiful, positive midos that is his essence inside, and the “rah” (bad) on the outside will just naturally & organically fall away.


    I shared this vort with a friend of mine. 

    He added:  R. Lau was chief Rabbi of Israel at one time.  He would visit wounded soldiers (still really boys) in the hospital.  One soldier was terribly burned all over his body.  As R. Lau walked down the hallway to approach his room, he could hear the young soldier moaning in pain from the severe burns. 

    One time as Rabbi Lau approached the soldier’s room he didn’t hear the moaning.  He was concerned, perhaps the young man had been lost …? 

    He turned the corner into the room and saw the soldier’s mommy in the room. 

    The young soldier was lying on his stomach.  His mommy was gently massaging one small area in his back. She found one small spot not burned and damaged.  By massaging this area, the pain over the whole body decreased tremendously. 

    She found the “NEKUDA TOVA” (“the good point”) in her beloved son. By concentrating on that essential, good spot, by nurturing it and massaging it, amazing positive results came about. 

    You can cry if you want.  Gevalt, gevalt, gevalt. 

    Moshiach should come soon and we’ll be together in Yerushalayim for Yom Tov!!  

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Rabbi YY Jacobson

  • April 16, 2019
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  • 11 Nisan 5779
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Dedicated by Esther Castellanos, in honor of the Villarreal Family. Danny, Jezliah, Micha, Ariel, Nathaniel, Avigail and Yishai.

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