• C

  Chana -9 months ago

  This was AMAZING! I totally agree that the proof is in the pudding. When I went with my son to a sports event, I felt holier than on Yom Kippur! Doing something so 100% for Hashem was a zechus! Yishar Koach! 

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  • YYJ

    Yosef Yitzchak Jacobson -9 months ago

    Thanks, I agree!

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• AA

  Ada Apfelbaum -11 months ago

  Fabulous

  Thank you, fabulous shiur. I wish I'd had these tools when my kids were younger.

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  • YYJ

    Yosef Yitzchak Jacobson -9 months ago

    Yes, we are all learning new things every day. But perhaps it is not too late to still connect in a deep way!

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• DL

  Dr. L. -11 months ago

  Hello R. YY, From a parent’s perspective, this is a wonderful class to help us keep perspective when facing the difficult job of raising children and keeping attachment throughout our family.  From an attorney's perspective (trained to catch even expert witnesses who demonstrate limits to their credibility) I found at least two statements a bit problematic.  1) I have a lot of respect for you and particularly, I think that you are generally "cautious in judgement", but I feel like your statement, "I just don't have judgementalism inside of me" sounds dangerously self-assured. 2) I was bothered by your statement, "give me a yiddishkeity that is purged from corruption... a leadership that is completely completely clueless and detached ..." Law offices have software that flags hyperbolic, repetitive language and warns that such a statement is unlikely to be literally true. Such language is often a sign of subjectivity and strong emotions that can cause even reliable experts to make unfounded poorly thought-out statements.  Literally, the above statement implies that that our children are asking for and would accept clueless detached leaders as long as they aren’t “completely completely... detached.” It appears that you really wanted to say that are children are asking for are Jewish leaders that are highly sensitive and completely completely attached. As a hunch, if I was looking to trip you up in cross examination, I would guess that you are angry at certain Jewish leaders and have fallen into careless generalities and judgementalism. I would guess that a good lawyer (or a clever Yetzer Harah) could exploit that and bring you to serious mistakes. Be careful! Do you really intend to condemn all the leadership of the Jewish people? Do you really believe, want to imply, that “they” are totally clueless and “you” are absolutely correct? Could your anger and judgementalism push people away from an albeit imperfect Judaism to even worse places? I heard in this podcast from a very wise Rabbi named YY Jacobson, “Real people are always open to growth ... this is not about we go into a place, Oh, we’re loving and we judge the rest of the world that’s not so loving” You made a lot of really wise statements in this video. Why did you choose this prima facie angry alienating statement for the trailer of the video? I say this with trepidation, but I am left with a fear that the famous rabbi YY, who I truly respect, is falling into anger that is blinding him to his own limitations and biases.

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  • HC

    Heimishe Chosid -11 months ago

    Please understand that R'YY is really a mouthpiece to many people that already have "extremely" (no pun intended), frustrated with the system, yes, the system. Especially, people that grew up with leaders of previous generations! I can assure you that there are many hurting people that grew up with previous rebbes and have to PUT UP with cluelessness! I'm relatively young, but I have a strong brain and a thinking one too (BH!), and can come up with the exact verbiage of frustration shown by YY. Is it possible for him to tone done? Maybe... But understand that he hears from hundreds or more that need to keep their mouths shut due to frum ideas, which is not "always", Torah and definitely not the way the besht taught us! It's extremely frustrating and before berating YY, you should think twice. Question: did you, as a lawyer, attempt to address the problems that we can all agree upon, that are problematic? Maybe, perfect yourself before trying to push blame on real people, where "real" people are listening and being comforted by his message that they SO strongly and passionately would love their leaders to hear.

    Frustrated personally (not necessarily because they hurt me or another), but because I feel angry at the leaders that took their leaders away from us/me!!! If you can understand my point!

    please refute my arguments to show me PLEASE that were not going down a rabbit hole!

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    • DL

      Dr. L. -11 months ago

      You are correct. 

      1) Strong emotions may be proper/necessary when talking to people who themselves are strongly emotional and especially if their emotion is a result of traumatic experiences. 

      2) R. YY definitely deserves support and respect in his dedicated work to help those who are suffering and fix that which is broken. He especially deserves respect for continuing even in the face of strong and painful opposition and I believe that he has shown great integrity focusing on the positive even when exposed to so much negativity. 

      3) Probably some of my caustic tone comes from jealousy. I have always wanted to have the integrity and dedication to stand up and make a difference even when it requires personal risk and sacrifice (for example, rather than hiding behind anonymous emails). I believe that R. YY personifies this.  

      I still recommend great care. When struggling under exposure to adversity there is a strong pull to disregard or denigrate even legitimate opposition. 

      R. YY said in the video, the Rebbe made space for people from secular backgrounds or even criminals languishing in prison even those who made grave errors or committed serious iniquities. We can also make space for people in our own families and communities with whom we have even serious issues. I believe this also applies those who have the title Rabbi or Rosh Yeshiva.

      I have great admiration for R. YY and wish him and you continued success.

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      • HC

        Heimishe Chosid -11 months ago

        I have great admiration for people like you that can look at things objectively and even compassionately to all parties. The fact that we need to makes space for our leaders (Rebbes and Roshei Yeshiva), is nebech a hurtful reality that wasn't "so" applicable in the yesteryear! I just don't remember parents and educators needing to put down others despite the fact there were "strong" oppositions and opinions. It was about opinions in my days that took priority, way over any debate on authenticity or brokenness. Even with extreme and the more closed communities, people from the outside understood that there was integrity, etc... Just some thoughts and the ringing truth behind them are in place. Satmar Rov (R' Yoel), showed what many called the only correct path while others disagreed. However, everyone was envious and respected his piety and understood that he didn't try to score any points and meant totally Lashem Shamaim. He would give money to help people that were zionists (think about giving money and supporting wayward children)! Look how the Bobover Rebbe has warned in those times of strife (caused by opinions), that whoever fights to protect for his kovod, he's not moichil not in this nor the next world (a shuddering statement for the sake of Shalom). Think about those apposing other gedolei Yisroel, yet keeping it "totally" non personal and really for Hashem's name. You'll try to catch me right there and ask "well, isn't this the situation today? Everyone meaning for Hashem's sake and nothing personal?"! With reservations I need to ask, why then is there so much strife and animosity amongst the gedolim that peace among there only -brothers, nephews/uncles-, has become a mute issue? How to expect truthfulness, compassion, ahavas Yisroel, shmiras hatorah (bmesiras nefesh) from there constituents while there's no peace and show of character from the leaders? How tactical is it when pinning yideshkeit on individual subject; not in holistic terms (the wholesomeness of Yiddishkeit)? When placing so much effort to extinguish ills in the community in a piecemeal process (and yes, there are a lot and it rightfully needs to be done), rather than in a whole (thing western medicine vs holistic lehavdil)? I don't need to go into examples because I believe it's self understood.

        Just a note, that I didn't single out these Tzadikkim for bias: it was just an example. Also, I do realize I might've came across a bit confrontational but things have gone above the gvil and borders of normalcy! I'm shuddering at the "possibility, and hope that this never happens), but we're inching closer to: adherence issues or becoming robotic in yideshkeit. On the latter, Hashem doesn't want robots , going through a list of what they need to do and not use the matatah of sechel! Hashem doesn't want "even" malochim amongst us, and definitely not a robotic, follow the crown Yiddishkeit "only" (emphasis). All chasidishe sefarim and mussar talk about shleimus haadom and -maalas haadom, in many writings-!

        When a takanah is made in a kehila or kehilos, it's very important to understand when "the majority of the tzibur cannot comply; like chazal tell us becomes applicable!". When the Yetzer doesn't sleep and we're in big trouble "even" TELEPHONES, as was well and correctly warned by Skver on AI platforms that may become a problem for text and even regular phones! Are we going to assur phones eventually? I strongly assume not: we will need to flood the community with messages of emunah and self building of yiras shomaim, which I'm afraid will be difficult to do because we "might" have been accustomed by learned behaviour to be robotic and not being thoughtful! That's where I'm coming from and where many visionaries are fearful of this phenomenon, including R' YY!

        All the best. Hoping for yeshuas Hashem.

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• DL

  Dr. L. -11 months ago

  Hello R. YY,

  I love your message. I think that it is the message of traditional Jewish wisdom.

  Decades ago, when I was a new father, I saw the son of my rav OBM teaching his son (my rav's grandson) to read properly. The father was demanding extreme discipline from the little boy. I was shocked and impressed how the little boy learned to concentrate.

  Later I asked my rav (a very traditional but caring Rosh Yeshiva who was often accused of being too traditional for the new world), "Is this the right way to train a child". He said to me "Don't you try it." Which I was made to understand meant, "If your attachment to your child is absolute and unblemished, you can demand, for his good, absolute discepline, and he will thrive. On the other hand, in your case where your child may not trust you 100% and especially becuase you may be partially motivated by self interest (nachat from my son the Rabbi ), don't YOU try it, you could easily destroy your son."

  Even more so, Rabbi YY, you have taught me,that  by giving up my fantasy family, my son has the space to truly grow and be great (even if his father is imperfect). 

  This was very wise advice and your classes help \to actualize this.

  Thanks

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• Anonymous -11 months ago

  She intertwines her fingers so it's hard to take her seriously.

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  • J

    jared -11 months ago

    She is an incredible coach and a wise woman. I fail to understand your point.

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• CB

  Chaim Bochner -11 months ago

  You have no idea Rabbi Jacobson what you did for me and my family. My father is hurt about a family situation (don't want to detail due to sensitive nature). We need more like you and more information "from you". Great Shiur. 👍 

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• Y

  Yyl -11 months ago

  Just wow.

  Thanks so much for this

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  • YYJ

    Yosef Yitzchak Jacobson -11 months ago

    This means so much; thanks for your amazing feedback.

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• EC

  Elisheva Cohen -11 months ago

  I could have listened to your words like a million times 

  Thank you Rebbe 

  כל הכבוד 🙏

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  • YJ

    YY Jacobson -11 months ago

    Thanks so so much. It means so much to me. 

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• EH

  Elena Herskovits -11 months ago

  Elena

  What do you do when the parents are not on the same page 

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  • YYJ

    Yosef Yitzchak Jacobson -11 months ago

    They need to work on their marriage and trust in each other. This is vital.

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    • RPACS

      Rabbi Pesach and chany Scheiner -11 months ago

      This was a terrific podcast. The Shustermans did a great job of provoking Rabbi Jacobson and Rabbi Jacobson as usual backed up his position eloquently. I don't think Rabbi Jacobson's position is that much different from most mechanchim today regarding Kids otd. I believe that almost everyone believes in tolerance today.  (And thanks goes to Rabbi Jacobson and others who were pioneers to bring this awareness to the Jewish community.) However, I think there is a legitimate question of how far the tolerance should go. There are advantages to chessed and there are also advantages to gevurah. Rabbi Jacobson brings up the Chabad house scenario however, there is a difference between them firstly, we generally assume that someone raised not religious is a Tinok shenishba bein haakum. Do we assume the same for a child raised in a frum home?  Also, in a chabad house, it is not your child and you can choose not to pay attention to the negative, however, that is not the case for a parent with their own children and perhaps there is more of a responsibility for the parents to get down to the nitty-gritty even if it is uncomfortable.  As was mentioned, traditionally, the Gevurah path was used more and there are also sources for that approach in Torah.  But, as Rabbi Jacobson says, that might not work today at all. I do have one comment/question: How can we have one approach for all otd children when there are so many different levels of otd and I would think that it should also depend on the nature of the child.  For some children, it might not be surprising that they are letting go of halacha while for a child with a more religious nature, a stronger approach might be warranted.

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      • CB

        Chaim Bochner -11 months ago

        Answering a question with a question, is a Jewish problem, but let's ask ourselves: We have such a rich and beautiful Torah and traditions. Why in anyone's right mind, should they even think about leaving the fold? It always baffled me. Of course there's a yetzer and of course we're nearing Moshiach but done Chabad/seichel needs to be used! Let's analyze for heavens sake? We had SO many times in our past seen acolyptic disasters regarding heretics and people just running away! Did anyone analyze it to see if that problem exists today? Over the centuries of yore, the mass exterminations (r"l), starvation, poverty, persecution, all gave rise for even an INDIVIDUAL to grab an opportunity to drive masses away (yes, there were always troublemakers and some wanted fame and recognition too (think about it as a "potential" trigger)). We have no such excuses! No persecution, starvation, extreme poverty (bh we are a rachmonis people); yet, we live a golus mentality... This is where Rabbi YY is heading to, in my humble opinion... Just something I heard from an analyst in Jewish affairs: Why aren't we so careful about lying and cheating in business or with government (I have no choice but to state the truth for the analysis!)? We lived for so many years under racist governments that oppressed us and excluded us from commerce and any public activity. Chazal as well as Halacha, gave us the right to cheat against dina d'Malchusa when there is no parity amongst the citizens! Now, in our days, we just inherited this bdieved and made it lkatchila. Same idea with this discussion. We are not oppressed as we were hundreds or thousands of years ago, but like the kotzker said: we need to take the golus out of ourselves. Live geulah. See that we've never had such opportunities! Grab onto it and use it for the advantage of our kids, families, communities, and ourselves! We have time to sit down and think! 

        Do me a favor, and let me know if I'm thinking this through properly or there is a glitch. I won't take anything personal, I promise!

        All the best to you and klal Yisroel.

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  • S

    Shmuly -11 months ago

    I grew up in such a childhood. Completely divergent viewpoints in regards to Yiddishkeit from my parents, so received neither.

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    • CB

      Chaim Bochner -11 months ago

      It's so sad and I feel for you. I must tell you that I have lovely parents BH but when faced with adversity they've just learned how to adapt.

      More, importantly to your angst, I have hardships in life many cannot understand and my parents as much as they "truly" love me have no clue how to help me. Rabbi YY is and was a godsend to me and I listened to his lectures and chassidus shiurim. It's eye opening and I learned how to understand myself and what's important in life while at the same time "miraculously" able to understand my parents and others and remove some of the hate.

      I suggest as a non paid, non prostelyzer, that everyone and yourself, to listen more to this great man and try to analyze his thoughts and talks too. A big problem in our education is the lack of and discouragement for self introspection and deep thinking. Yes, Torah and mitzvot need to be performed with understanding but understanding is definitely (without doubt or question), the real approach and people should sit and think about their live and of their loved ones to integrate real love, understanding, desire, consciousness, authenticity, and all the messages relayed by this great man. Stay the course and, please be mechazek yourself and NEVER give up. I found god in my darkest places and don't regret analyzing his messages (not to take out of context, please and you need to be careful with this one; questioning after belief, of course), even though I didn't understand them all the time. 

      Hashem is with you and my heart truly goes out for you. I wish you menuchas hanefesh and love you like a brother!

      Rabbi YY, if you see this, I'm talking to you that you're wonderful and are a catalyst to bring people closer to Hashem and their inner core, which is also Hashem!

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Rabbi YY on "A Positive Podcast"

Rabbi YY Jacobson

• April 20, 2023
• |
• 29 Nisan 5783
• |
• 2310 views

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